A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im unsure with my relationship because of my boyfriends priorities. ive seen him once this week even though we're on our school summer break and when i try to make plans with him he wants his downtime with his computer games and his guy friends. i understand him needing personal space but it makes me feel like being with me is some sort of chore. when he does make an effort to be with me im reluctant to believe him because i feel like hes only asked me because he feels obliged to. he keeps telling me how much he loves me but sometimes i just wish he would show it.
View related questions:
video games Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 July 2009):
 I had a boyfriend like this one year. During the summer, he basically vanished. I never saw him, and I too felt neglected. I finally had to schedule a meeting with him, so that I could break up with him. I could have done it over the phone, I suppose, but I felt he deserved to hear the straight truth face-to-face.
I told him that I no longer felt that I was a girlfriend, because I wasn't being treated as though I was one. His friends and activities that took him away every single day were his priority, and I felt that I deserved better treatment than that. I was wasting my time being committed to a guy who didn't care enough about me to make some time for me, to fit me into his busy life. There were other guys who wanted to go out with me too, and I didn't feel it was fair of him to basically put me on the shelf.
So I took control of the situation and ended the boyfriend/girlfriend aspect of it. We remained friends and still are, years later. The really ironic thing was about a year after I broke up with him, I moved away for a while, and I got together with him for a goodbye dinner (purely platonic, he had a new girlfriend, poor thing) and he broke down crying when we said "goodbye" saying that he had made a huge mistake letting me go and that no one had ever treated him as well. Too late, bub. Obviously, the new girl was not at the dinner, and nothing inappropriate happened between him and me. She knew all about me and the dinner too.
So decide what you want and what you deserve as a good girlfriend, then go get it, or cut him loose and go find a more attentive boyfriend. Deeds, not words, right?
A
female
reader, Praffy  +, writes (10 July 2009):
 I know you're tired of hearing this but guys arent much on showing love!! They just don't get it.....they're dense when it comes to it;-) i know cause i've been with my guy for almost 3 and a half yrs and i still fight with him coz of this sometimes. Bottom line is that if he didn't wanna be with you he would have broken it off. He tells you he loves you and you should respect it. Its not like he's ditching you to hang out w/ other girls. When he's making an effort appreciate it. Give him a genuine smile and let him know you like whatever he planned coz if u keep being grumpy when he DOES make an effort he mite end up feeling that there's no point to ur relationship as he's not able to keep you content. Give him time-n make a plan with the girls to shop or something so dat ur not left home alone to analyse it too much and ruin your break....Plus when he sees that ur busy as well he'll immediately make more time for you....its reverse psychology!!
Try it;-)
hope i was of help.....al d best:)
...............................
|
