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female
,
anonymous
writes: Three years ago I was in a relationship with someone that I really loved. I knew that he really loved me too but there was a lot of drugs involved in the relationship and also other people. Things eventually got totally out of hand and he went overseas for a while. When he come back from overseas, he wanted to get back together but I had by then sorted out my life, started a new relationship and didn't want to get back into the situation we were in (he was still taking drugs). This break up was very, very bad and caused enormous amounts of pain for both of us and for our friends and families. I refused to see him or talk to him because I was so scared of getting drawn back into that lifestyle and the only way I knew not too was to stay away from it and him because I still loved him and was scared of being drawn back into it. I'm still drug-free and doing well in most aspects of my life except that my ex now works at the same company as I do. It's very large and we don't see each other often but when we do it's extremely painful and upsetting. We don't talk but the hurt between us is obvious. I don't want to get back together with him and I've had another relationship since then (which didn't worked out but I ok with it and we're still friends). I still care for him but I'm not in love with him anymore and don't think I could ever trust him. I guess the advise I'm asking for is why is it still so painful seeing him and how do I get over it? I love my job and where I'm working.
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female
reader, loveshoe +, writes (8 April 2006):
Hi there!
I was in a somewhat-similar situation. I was with my ex for three years, and we worked together throughout that time. The relationship ended badly, and things were EXTREMELY uncomfortable.
I avoided him as much as possible, and even though I didn't love him anymore, it was still unpleasant when we saw each other.
I ended up leaving the company about a year ago, and it was the best move that I made. If you love your job however, that may make things harder.
So I guess that my advice isn't advice at all! However, I think that you alreadt know the answer to your question... if the hurt doesn't start going away after a while, it will most likely only go away once one of you is employed somewhere else.
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2006): Well it's painful because by seeing him, painful memories of the past comes back, and you think on them. The extra pain right now that you feel is like a deep wound that never healed properly.
Only thing u can really do, is try to avoid him as much as u can, or u can try to be friends with him Two 'extremes', but unless he leaves the company, and since you're unwilling to leave this company, you're pretty much limited to these options.
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