| A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: My husband andI have been married for 10 years and have 2 children. In our relationship my husband has had 3 affairs. I have stayed with him, however recently I had a short relationship with another man, my husband calls it an affair even though we never had sex. My problem is even though I have ended the relationship with the other man, I keep trying to see him behind my husbands back, but I don't even care about that other guy. I don't know what keeps making me lie and hurt my husband because I love him.
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male
reader, Big boy +, writes (12 January 2007):
 If you love your husband why are not with him, all the affairs out side will not help you or him, you two need to sit down and talk, you don’t need to hurt him and he does not need to hurt too, just try and create a sense of respect for each other, if you two like the idea of having an open relationship or what so ever you come with fine but keep it private. And hey 10years and two kids you can’t mess that up, for your kids and plus you still love him, that’s enough for the marriage to survive; you need to talk to him and then compromise. What ever it is, the sex anything compromise, trust and honesty is really needed her. Don’t just say you love prove it. Give it your best short. Give your kids a healthy home; they would appreciate it one day.
A
female
reader, checkin  +, writes (12 January 2007):
This is a hard one, iv been with my guy for six years, and i love him more than anything but i guess in a selfish way it doesnt stop me wanting more, Which is kinda of wants happening to you. Most relationships at your stage lack excitement in and out of the bedroom and it sounds like thats what your unwantingly seeking. You get so use to your guy telling you he loves you and he thinks your beutiful that it doesnt mean much anymore, but when another man tells you those things or shows interest, it boost your self esteem and gives you back those butterflys. Which is why i think flirting is a great thing to include in a relationship, but you should never follow up on it. My advice to you is if you still love your man, which you say you do, cut all ties with this other guy, hes a threat to your marriage, give him up. Then you need to work on your relationship with your husband because something must be wrong somewhere. Whether its going out alone together more often or spicing things up in the bedroom or just spending more time cuddling up and talking through how you both feel. Another thing is maybe there are deeper issues here and you havent actually accepted that your husband had affairs and so you havent been able to put them to one side because i dont believe its ever possible to forgive an affair but you can work on where it went wrong in the first place.. So if your still hurting from this even if you dont realise it you might think what your currently doing is ok because your kind of rebelling. If this is true then seek proffesional help like relationship counselling together because it just might save your marriage. I wish you the best of luck.
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