A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend if 30 and i am 22 we have known each other for 4 years but have only been in a relationship for 5 months. it seems to me he is quite shy. i had to take the first step and say i had feelings for him. and did he want me the way i wanted him? he send mixed signals at times, like he tells me he want to live in australia or america when he leaves the navy,i have told him i am falling for him and welllast wednesday he took me to meet his dad and step mum. its the first time for me to meet anyones parents(to be vetted by his family). this is my first real relationship.as we were talking to his dad he said the i was the first girlfriend he had met. my question is this... is he wanting this to be more serious? he still seems quite distant. i think about him all day and night. i always remember my dreams and he is in every one of them.I am going crazy!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (13 January 2007):
Sometimes guys find it difficult to confront their own feelings, and he may not have made up his mind. Your job it not to know what he wants, but to know what you want. Once you have decided what you want, tell him what you want, and ask him how he feels about it, and if he knows what he wants. He might need some time to understand what he wants, and how much time you choose to give him is up to you. As long as you have been as honest with yourself and with him as you can be, and communicated those things, you have done your job. If you want him to be less distant and more open, then tell him, and make him feel that it will be ok for him to be like that in the relationship. Then I would advise you give him some time to get used to the idea. If he can be, then great. If he cannot be, and you have decided that you need that from your boyfriend, then he is not for you. It sounds as if you feel that he does like you, but is just a distant guy. If that is the case, give him some time to come round as change can take time, but as time goes on, know what you want from a relationship. Good luck.
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