A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Really could do with advice, so please be honest guys and tell me what you really think of the situation. I've tried to put it as short as I can, so it doesn't sound like an essay of a story..This guy I met in a bar just over two weeks ago, we've been talking everyday since that night and we get along amazing! Well last saturday we were both out and was the night we decided to meet up. But as I walked into the place, in the distant I saw he seemed to be 'with' another girl, I think someone he met that night. I saw them looking intimate and then kissing! Then later when he saw me he had a massive smile and hugged me, said it's good seeing you again and kissed me?! After having just got with another girl. And of course I didn't expect him to talk to me all night, but it was very much small talk if you'd call it that, so really it was a brief moment seeing each other, which kind of felt like a brush off..I didn't say anything, but it didn't help that my friends also happened to be with me when we saw him kissing someone else, so it's more humiliating. I feel so stupid to even think he liked me and that anything would happen. I know I'm not with him, but he was the one texting me everyday for the past two weeks, getting to know me, flirting and then planning to see each other and saying how he was looking forward to seeing me again.. Just building hopes up, leading me on and taking me for an idiot. I'm so naive at the fact that I was convinced he was genuine and not a dick or player like every guy i've been with.He has text me since with an excuse of how he didn't get to see me much or talk to me that night. But all my friends said that I shouldn't text him back after what he did and that I should just ignore him which is easier said then done. He texted me again asking if i'm annoyed with him and I want to tell him I what I saw! How compleately humiliated and low he made me feel. But everyone is saying to not even reply at all, just ignore him. What should I do? And did he do anything wrong or am I overreacting.. I mean I guess when it comes down to it, texting means nothing and well we weren't together so it's fair play isn't it... Or not?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 January 2012):
 I think you should tell him what you saw and that it hurt your feelings.
I'd take a good hard look at his actions overall. To me it seems like he isn't looking for a GF but for a "good time - girl".
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 January 2012):
 By talking every day since you met, does that mean texting or actually, on the phone voice contact?
Anyway, I don't see why you can't be clear and open about why you reacted the way you did.
"John, I just wanted to let you know that I was feeling uncomfortable because I saw you kissing and looking very close to another girl when I came into the bar, on the night we'd agreed to meet up. It's not really something that I expected from a guy who seemed as nice as you. Ah well, better luck to us both next time."
I'd just quietly let this guy go, he sounds a bit of a player. As the relationship was building on texts, just let it fizzle out by not responding any longer. If he wants to date you, he can ask you out properly and make an effort. That goes for the next guy you meet, as this one doesn't sound as though it has any future.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (20 January 2012):
He's a player. I would listen to your friends and ignore this guy. If he were a genuine guy he wouldn't have kissed another girl when he knew you were coming up to see him, and he would have spent some real time with you instead of blown you off. Those are some major red flags. You aren't overreacting, and it is totally understandable that you felt humiliated.
If a guy is like this right away, things will only get worse as time goes on. It's true that you weren't together, but his actions are still disrespectful and a guy who doesn't respect you right away is only going to get more disrespectful later on. Save yourself a ton of heartache and pretend he doesn't exist.
Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, svf +, writes (20 January 2012):
 Hmm, I think you should just play it safe and honest.
Let him know that you liked him, but that you saw him kissing another girl that night and then afterwards he came and kissed you. Simply not on. And embarrassingly, make sure you let him know that all of your mates witnessed it to. That way he can't squirm out of it. If he really likes you, he'll apologise or something and try to make it up to you. But I do feel sorry for you, because I can tell that you like him, but I think he has player written all over him. I hope he hasn't upset you to much.xx
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