A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex-boyfriend and i broke up a month and a half ago and the reason why we broke up was because i said i was thinking maybe we're better off as friends and he took it wrong, i was jus tellin him i was startin to think that, but we stayed friends and we still texted,talked on the phone, and i was still on his top on myspace...until oneday he texted me something he use to text me when we would flirt and when i responded back, he didnt send me nothing until 2 days later. I got upset about it and called him sayin we needed to talk n he told me he was on his way home and he'll call me back when he gets home. He never called back, so i sent him a message on myspace sayin some really bad things and that i didnt want to ever talk to him again. About two weeks later, i realized i still loved him n that i wanted to be his friend so i sent him a message. He was being rude and he eventually told me to quit talking to him so i did. Then, he sent me a message saying why did i want to be his friend and i got mad because he told me to quit talkin to him so when i do he sends me a message so when i tried to reply back, i found out i was blocked! Now this mad me madder so i got on my friends name and said some really hurtful things. Two days later, i told him sorry but he didnt reply. Two weeks later, when school started,myself, along with my friends and his friends, noticed that he would stare at me when i walked by him in school so i wanted to be his friend again so i asked his friends whould he talk to me and they asked him for me. Then, two of his friends came up to me and said that he said he'll talk to me and another boy told me that he talked to him and asked him are we going to get back together and he said he dont know, so that was hope that he'd talk to me again(even though i wasnt tryin to get back with him but that was closer to talkin to him if he thought that)So three days later, i texted him a joke but he didnt find it funny so i asked him was he still mad at me and he said dont talk to me anymore and i said "but i thought you told D----- u wuld talk to me, cant you find it in your heart to forgive me yet?"...but he didnt text back. So then, two days later, i told his friend what happened and he couldnt believe he did that so he asked him about it and he said that my ex had said he doesnt want to be my friend and when he asked him why, he told me my ex said he doesnt know why.So heres the question:Does this mean that he doesnt want to be my friend because he still has feelings for me or does it mean he had feelings for me when we got into it and the things i said hurted him so bad that he cant be friends with me now, or does it mean neither?
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female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (31 August 2008):
 Ok, first of all, quit all your texting and email/messaging. That is SO informal and, practically, very rude when dealing with this situations. You can clearly just talk to him in person, or in the phone! So why not do that?
The main problem is what I stated above. Because you text/email/message, you don't think things trough and jump the gun. For this reason, you two have put your foot in the bucket and have gone through all this drama. And another thing is that you have been relying on second sources to know about his doings, so how reliable can all of these can be? Not much.
So if you want to straighten all of these things out, go up to him and talk to him... in person. I would not say phone because this matter needs to be discussed face to face. In the conversation, ask him all the things you wonder about him and about his actions, why he has been contradicting himself so much.
While you do this, please try to maintain your composure. If you go ballistic and emotional, you would have done nothing and probaly make things worse. Also, encourage him for the two of you to be honest and to try to take the answers graciously. Both of you need to give your sides of the story and the reasons for everything you did.
Good luck and keep us updated, please.
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