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I said I didnt know if I loved him, now things have changed

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 August 2009) 7 Answers - (Newest, 3 August 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, *a5ylor writes:

This boy says he is in Love with me. I told him that i didn't know if i was in love with him. Now he is saying its hard to talk to me did i brake his heart ? Please help me!

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A female reader, Love is all you need United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2009):

Love is all you need agony auntI know i have the same problem, this guy went to fast said he loved me and i let him but sometimes it made me feel sick so i told him not to say it and to keep it to himself cause i cared fo him and like liked him but i didnt love him. I didn't hurt his feelings cause i gave something back. So, yes you pobably did hurt his feelings but you saved your self alot of sickness. Do you care for him? if so tell him and say youjust aren't at his stage yet and he won't tell you again and you can let your relationship grow like mine did. But if you don't at all then just say your sorry and you'll both love again....'his heart will be mended oce again' he's probably had his heart broken alot and healed alot. So tell him how you feel, bad or good and tell me how it goes.....xxx

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (3 August 2009):

When you tell someone you love them, you're totally putting your feelings on the line and making yourself vulnerable. So yes, you probably did. But it's ok to not be sure and not say it back. You don't want to tell someone you love them when you don't. If it happens again, just take it for what it is with something like, "oh that's sweet, thank you." It's like saying you don't without actually saying it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009):

You guys are young you'll love again and so will he.

No broken hearts just scraped knees.

good luck

and

stay a virgin.

=].

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A male reader, Elliiott France +, writes (3 August 2009):

Elliiott agony auntIf you don't love him, You don't love him.

And well yes, You have broken his heart, Maybe he has had a crush on you for awhile without you knowing, This was the sort of thing that happened to me awhile ago.

In three years she asked me out twice, So once every year, I said no every time, Third year, I really what I had done && I asked her.

&& Remember, If you're not attracted to him, Don't ask him.

All the best,

- Elliott.

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A female reader, Opsie Nigeria +, writes (3 August 2009):

I think you did the right thing by telling him the truth,its better than just deceiving him.Sometimes it takes sometime before you love someone, you love someone more when you spend sometime with him/her although the love can only grow if you already like the person though.Don,t think is a big deal at all.

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A male reader, spinnaker89 United States +, writes (3 August 2009):

There nothing wrong with what you said. At your age you most like dont have the experience to really know what love is, your still in the hormone raging phase of life. And honestly hes prob talking a lot from his junk instead of his head if you know what i mean. Im 20 and i still dont really know what love is or if i have true love. I think your best bet is to talk to him and just try to date him, think about convos and try to figure out a way to talk to him easier, figure out common interests. You obviously need to hang out with him and be with him long in order to know if you might love him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009):

How 'long' does it take for 'love' to happen from point A to point B? We're assuming point A is when you and him becoming mutually attracted to each other and we're assuming that point B is when he revealed that he loved you.

The above is applied to all relationships that question 'love'. If there was a text book, a course and a teacher who is teaching that 'love' happens when two people start 'dating', then we can all also assume that this teacher, the course and the text book is a big phony and/or a hoax. 'Love' happens on its own pace, it's own time, based completely on experiences, connection and most of all, layered chemistry through thick and thin, ice and fire, cotton and thorns.

'Love' is not automatic, when two people start 'dating'. It happens, when it happens.

It won't take much to break his heart, if he so easily gets blown over by thin illusion of 'love' without experiences, connection and chemistry. In other words, try not to allow yourself to fall into the trap of emotional obligation and 'force' yourself to express your (lack of) 'love' to him based on his own 'uncertainties'. You can simply tell him, "love takes time and right now, it's not time."

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