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female
,
anonymous
writes: Me and my boyfriend had broken up because I went off on him. I was going through a lot and he didn't call me and let me know he was OK, and he angered me. We have had this argument at least once a month. This time I needed him. I was confronting some old issues with an ex (stalking) and I didn't want my boyfriend (who lives in a different state) to get caught up in my mess so I went off on him and said some horrible things to push him away, but I was also angry when I couldn't talk to him. The next day I felt bad and realized I did the wrong thing. He said I scared him and we can only be friends. He calls me every day (this happened a week ago). I was supposed to spend New Years with him but he says he is not going to be there so don't bother. I'm getting mixed messages from him. I know I hurt him and tried apologising but he keeps taking shots at me and he told me he bought a ring and was going to propose but I messed it up. I really love him but I don't know what to do. I asked if he is letting go and he said he has to let go but he makes an effort to tell me how sad and hurt he is every day. So my question is, am I wasting my time trying to reconcile or should I fight for him? Please help. I love him and don't want to let go.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2006): if you're going to be together you need to confront these issues together, eplain why you did it in full detail and show him that he can trust you and how much he means to you and then you can maybe go on from there. good luck
A
female
reader, Virginiaac +, writes (24 December 2005):
About time you got angry with this guy. You have apologised, you were under stress and now he's making you feel guilty about it all. If he can't accept an apology and try to help you through this problem, then dump him. He is wallowing in his own righteousness - he sounds weak and selfish. Not a man for you.
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A
male
reader, ambiguous +, writes (24 December 2005):
A fool with two cars running will take off in one and forget to turn off the other. If you cant solve previous issues than you only hurt yourself and others. It is best to work on these issues and allow time, but be sure the one troubled knows your still there because he is hurting as well. Better to be apart hurting but learning than be apart only hurting.
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