A
male
age
36-40,
*go
writes:Hi, I’m 24 - feel really silly even writing this but hey if some people can give their view then why not, you don’t know who I am - I haven’t so much as kissed a girl in 4years.I enjoy going out and speaking to new people but as soon as I sense that spark of sexual energy in the atmosphere I run. I don’t know why? I don’t really miss sex but I do crave affection, can you have intimacy without sex?Am I afraid of being sexually intimate? And how do I just get over it? I’m not into one night stands – never have been. I’ve only ever had sex with people I’ve known for a while but now I always establish myself as a friend so as not to even have the chance of something developing. Has anyone else experienced this kind of frigidness and if so how’d you just get over it? I feel terribly silly, but I always shy away from affection and the chance to get involved with someone. – I sense a danger that I could become so used to being on my own that I never venture into another relationship.
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frigid, one night stand, shy, spark Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): believe me you are not alone. i have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years. he has told me numerous times that he wants me and for us to have a proper intimate relationship and that he would never hurt me. in the time we have been together we have had sex ONCE, that was my first time, i panicked and pulled away from him physically, psychologically and emotionally. i think at the back of my mind i am scared of intimacy as i have been badly hurt before and i think that if i give myself fully to my boyfriend he will take then throw it all back at me. i have recently made the decision to go for a counselling session as i can't continue with this cycle for much longer. my boyfriend says he loves me and i'm sure he does as who else would stick around for nerly 2 years with only one episode of sex behind them.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): well if u sense it then before u guys acually get together set limits some gurls will feel the same way
like me for instint ive never made out and im afraid to so i made limits with my man and we go by them the person ur with will understand belive me
i hoped i help messege me if u have any questions u tink i can help u wit?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): dear friend , am 22 and your problem is very close to mine ,my problem is that i run too from sex i can be with someone for long and we kiss and hug but when i feel that this person want more i just walk away even if i love him because i feel that no one is worth it now , but for you it depend on how much you 'r scared i mean r u scared from any that is close to touching the opposite sex !! if it is so may be you should start trying by small things like kissing , hugs .... than it will be developed by itself because you will always want more , i hope it will work for u , good luck
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