A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hii...i am an engineering graduate. i got attracted to my classmate when i was in first year. he was interested in me too.we started talking and liking each other a lot. we used to converse in phone calls whole nights..even till 6 in the morning... we were perfect for each other..one day he said that he loves me and i was very happy..we fell in love madly..our relationship was beautiful.he was never interested in other girls because he was mad about me..we started going out together..to movies...restaurants..he was so perfect in his relationship..he never made me feel alone..he was always there for me..we were also involved physically..i was not a fool to be used by a guy but he was really a true lover..i was the one who always encouraged to be intimate with me..i belong to a traditional family..i never wanted to be physical with him but i couldn't resist..our bonding was divine and beautiful..but slowly i started irritating him..i wanted him to be always with me..i used to scold him very badly for not giving time to me..i never understood his situations and problems..i treated him very badly..and hurt him so much..he used to even cry for those words..i was mad at that time.. actually i wanted him to be with me always..i realized what i was doing was wrong but it was too late by then...he started feeling suffocation in our relationship..he started hating me..he thought that we will be happy only if we get separated..so he started avoiding me..one day he told me that he has got no more interest in me..no feelings for and he wanted to leave me..he said..i am not correct for him and our mentalities do not match..my heart was broken..i was shattered..i pleaded him to come back.. i begged..gave him gifts..but he didn't..he now wants me to forget him forever..delete him from my life forever..whenever i call him, he talks to me so rudely..he is treating me very badly..ut i can't live without him..i want him back..i cannot imagine any other guy in his place..i m unable to concentrate on my studies..i feel guilty and lost..i want him please help me..please..i am waiting for your suggestions..my friends say that i should stop talking to him for a while but what if he completely forgets me if i stop talking to him??please help me guys..please...i desperately need help ..please...
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@BeANicerGirl ...hey thanks a lot for your advice.....yes..its been a month and our relationship has improved...i do not stalk him now the way i used to before...he texts me regularly and we don't talk about our relationship..he is treating me nice but i think he is not yet ready 2 have a relationship with me again..but i am eagerly waiting when he realizes my worth and comes to me again with all his wonderful love...
I pray for your relationship too...just be nice to him...make him realize how special you are to him...make him fall in love with you again..good luck..take care!!!
A
female
reader, BeANicerGirl  +, writes (19 May 2010):
I am in the same kind of situation now except mine is way worse because not only was I needy, clingy, jealous but I am also deceitful in his eyes as he found me lying and lying again. It's really crazy how we still talk now and sometimes he is still being sweet but when he is somehow reminded of what i did and how i behaved he is instantly withdrawn from me... and would detach emotionally from me for a good week ...Sorry.. talking so much about us.. I just hope u understand.. this man had strong feelings for u before.. it's very likely that he still has them but is temporarily hidden behind a facade he has put on to prevent himself from getting more hurt. If he is not dating anybody or going out all the time I think he is not moving on.. just hiding his real emotions in order to prevent getting hurt again.. I think the best thing you should do is to give him space but not too much.. let him know you'll always be here waiting for him by ocassionally sending a sweet and sincere text...but DUN always call him when ur having an emotional breakdown. call everyone else BUT HIM.So this question was more than a month ago.. just wonder how ur doing now with him???
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHEY GUYS...your advice is really working for me..i didn't contact him for the last two days but to my surprise he texts me often and also calls me everyday and talks for about an hour!! isn't tat amazing?? though he talks only about general topics like our exams,college life etc but he makes me laugh so much..he is being with me the way we were in the past..teasing each other..laughing for everything and even i have improved a lot..i never talk to him about our relation neither he does..the only thing which is worrying me is should i continue this way?? i mean..i want him back but not as a friend but as my lover.. please suggest me some tips or ideas so that I CAN MAKE HIM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME AGAIN?? and 1 more thing which i fear is..if i continue to talk with him in this way i may not be able to control myself to hide my feelings about him for a long time i may burst out at once which i don't want to happen..!! i am just unable to understand his intentions..WHAT DOES HE REALLY WANT FROM ME?? he very well knows that i still love him but i really don't know why is he behaving this way?? We are having our last exam on may 1st..and after that we will be having holidays for about 45 days and it is impossible for us to meet during vacation..so if you could suggest me ideas to make him ASK ME OUT FOR A DATE on that day?? please please help me..that will be the only day when i can talk to him personally and go out on a date..it is impossible for me to ask him for a date now at our current situation as i still remember..when few days ago i asked him to come for a date with me and he became so angry and shouted at me so rudely ..!!so i don't want to repeat that again..this time i want him to ask me for a date first ..is this really going to happen with me?? please please can i fulfill this beautiful wish of mine?? REPLY ME AS FAST AS U CAN..I AM WAITING..
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 April 2010):
 I know it's difficult. It has to get worse before it can get better. Cry ,if you need to cry- and just stay away from that phone. :) If you need support during this phone withdrawal, and if you think it may help you, you are welcome to send me a message at my private mailbox at this site.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@cindeycares: hey really really thanx a lot for ur valuable tym 4 me..:) but m really really tensed reg my relation..i hav already changed myself in theese two days though thanx 2 dis website..!! but sumtyms i just cant control myself n i automatically dial his num ..i knw its very wrng on my part i will try... sumtyms during situations when m sad or alone i miss him a lot coz he always helped me 2 overcum my probs n worries..i feel so hurt at those tyms coz m all alone n he isn't der for me..:( when i go 2 sleep .i remember his making luv 2 me..n at tat point of tym i want 2 be at his side ..want 2 cuddle with him..hold him ti8 n cry..:( !!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (19 April 2010):
Don't be so drastic :)- Of course you do not need to run away if you meet him by chance. If he initiates contact, or says hi, or if you bump into each other- just be friendly,polite and civilly casual- don't cry,be emotional, or bring up "heavy" subjects like your pain and feelings etc. And,like the other "aunt " told you, keep busy busy busy, so you'll be less tempted to chase after him. Try do something( hobby or sport ) that will take your mind off him, I know it's difficult right now but you should make an effort.
How will he know you are less dependent ? Because you WILL be- you will stop calling him and e-mailing all the time,and he will see that. And if you also keep a busy schedule and an active social life, he will see that too ,or he'll know it through mutual friends. Best of luck !
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ mehek and cindycares: hey thanx a lot ..ur words were so caring n helpful...:) earlier i used 2 think tat no one understands my problem and i m all alone in dis world with dis dreadful pain...i guess i was wrong..there r sweet ppl like u who help me gain my self confidence back and teach me 2 b strong!! u wont believe but just a while ago before reading ur answer i called him n again begged him 2 talk 2 me..but i promise u i wont do tat again..atleast 4 a month for sure..i will keep myself busy n wait until he loves me again..thanx a lot..!! but please suggest me how to make him feel tat i m no more dependent on him...should i start ignoring and avoiding him?? i mean..even if tries to talk with me should i walk away?? please do tell me how to let him feel that i have changed..??
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A
female
reader, mehek +, writes (18 April 2010):
 honey i understad your problem...i have been in the same situation....the least tht u can do is not bother him right now...if u keep pleading him...he'l get more n more irritated n ur relationship n chnaces of renewal wud be lost frevr or fr a long time.
u need to give him space and time...dont plead r cry or beg. it vil not mke im come bck...
dont call him fr a while....for 4 , 5 days or so...
meanwhile sweetheart....u keep urself busy dt u dun hv d time to thinkabout him n hurt urslf...i agree it vil be painful bt if u want long term gains...u vil hve to go thru short term losses...
and wen u spk to him after few days....just b asual n short in coversation...dont mke him feel dt u r pressurising him or forcing him bcz dt vil mke him shun u compltly n u dont want that...right...
i cn feel that drelationship has becum realy bad...so honey i m tellin u franky it'l tke time....bt if u love him so much...u cn wait ryt...gve him sum months to settle dwn n throw away all d negatvity...n d mean time u strt improving urslf...try nt to be so dependant on him...he vil apreciate that n once he notices dt u hv chnged in a good way...he might onsider takin u bck...i hopeu undrstnd me...
i share d exact same story...my mistke ws i begged n pleaded n ds y it has taken me so long to cum bck close to him again...today i m close to him but i wd hv been closer if i hd listened to my frnds advices...
plz plz is gona hrt u realy badly i kno...d only way to escape it is to b vry busy...i strd doin a job wer i ws busy most f d day n trust me dt is wt has helped me odrwse i wud hv died of pain...
let me kno if u need my help...i undrstnd ur pain...
tc sweetheart...honey i understad your problem...i have been in the same situation....the least tht u can do is not bother him right now...if u keep pleading him...he'l get more n more irritated n ur relationship n chnaces of renewal wud be lost frevr or fr a long time.
u need to give him space and time...dont plead r cry or beg. it vil not mke im come bck...
dont call him fr a while....for 4 , 5 days or so...
meanwhile sweetheart....u keep urself busy dt u dun hv d time to thinkabout him n hurt urslf...i agree it vil be painful bt if u want long term gains...u vil hve to go thru short term losses...
and wen u spk to him after few days....just b asual n short in coversation...dont mke him feel dt u r pressurising him or forcing him bcz dt vil mke him shun u compltly n u dont want that...right...
i cn feel that drelationship has becum realy bad...so honey i m tellin u franky it'l tke time....bt if u love him so much...u cn wait ryt...gve him sum months to settle dwn n throw away all d negatvity...n d mean time u strt improving urslf...try nt to be so dependant on him...he vil apreciate that n once he notices dt u hv chnged in a good way...he might onsider takin u bck...i hopeu undrstnd me...
i share d exact same story...my mistke ws i begged n pleaded n ds y it has taken me so long to cum bck close to him again...today i m close to him but i wd hv been closer if i hd listened to my frnds advices...
plz plz is gona hrt u realy badly i kno...d only way to escape it is to b vry busy...i strd doin a job wer i ws busy most f d day n trust me dt is wt has helped me odrwse i wud hv died of pain...
let me kno if u need my help...i undrstnd ur pain...
tc sweetheart...honey i understad your problem...i have been in the same situation....the least tht u can do is not bother him right now...if u keep pleading him...he'l get more n more irritated n ur relationship n chnaces of renewal wud be lost frevr or fr a long time.
u need to give him space and time...dont plead r cry or beg. it vil not mke im come bck...
dont call him fr a while....for 4 , 5 days or so...
meanwhile sweetheart....u keep urself busy dt u dun hv d time to thinkabout him n hurt urslf...i agree it vil be painful bt if u want long term gains...u vil hve to go thru short term losses...
and wen u spk to him after few days....just b asual n short in coversation...dont mke him feel dt u r pressurising him or forcing him bcz dt vil mke him shun u compltly n u dont want that...right...
i cn feel that drelationship has becum realy bad...so honey i m tellin u franky it'l tke time....bt if u love him so much...u cn wait ryt...gve him sum months to settle dwn n throw away all d negatvity...n d mean time u strt improving urslf...try nt to be so dependant on him...he vil apreciate that n once he notices dt u hv chnged in a good way...he might onsider takin u bck...i hopeu undrstnd me...
i share d exact same story...my mistke ws i begged n pleaded n ds y it has taken me so long to cum bck close to him again...today i m close to him but i wd hv been closer if i hd listened to my frnds advices...
plz plz is gona hrt u realy badly i kno...d only way to escape it is to b vry busy...i strd doin a job wer i ws busy most f d day n trust me dt is wt has helped me odrwse i wud hv died of pain...
let me kno if u need my help...i undrstnd ur pain...
tc sweetheart...honey i understad your problem...i have been in the same situation....the least tht u can do is not bother him right now...if u keep pleading him...he'l get more n more irritated n ur relationship n chnaces of renewal wud be lost frevr or fr a long time.
u need to give him space and time...dont plead r cry or beg. it vil not mke im come bck...
dont call him fr a while....for 4 , 5 days or so...
meanwhile sweetheart....u keep urself busy dt u dun hv d time to thinkabout him n hurt urslf...i agree it vil be painful bt if u want long term gains...u vil hve to go thru short term losses...
and wen u spk to him after few days....just b asual n short in coversation...dont mke him feel dt u r pressurising him or forcing him bcz dt vil mke him shun u compltly n u dont want that...right...
i cn feel that drelationship has becum realy bad...so honey i m tellin u franky it'l tke time....bt if u love him so much...u cn wait ryt...gve him sum months to settle dwn n throw away all d negatvity...n d mean time u strt improving urslf...try nt to be so dependant on him...he vil apreciate that n once he notices dt u hv chnged in a good way...he might onsider takin u bck...i hopeu undrstnd me...
i share d exact same story...my mistke ws i begged n pleaded n ds y it has taken me so long to cum bck close to him again...today i m close to him but i wd hv been closer if i hd listened to my frnds advices...
plz plz is gona hrt u realy badly i kno...d only way to escape it is to b vry busy...i strd doin a job wer i ws busy most f d day n trust me dt is wt has helped me odrwse i wud hv died of pain...
let me kno if u need my help...i undrstnd ur pain...
tc sweetheart...
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (18 April 2010):
My opinion will not help you a lot because I am gonna advise you what you do not want to do, but be reasonable, darling, your friends are right. You MUST stop chasing after him, you must let him be for a while, you must stop tryng to make contact that right now he does not appreciate. Stalking is not loving.
And, you, say, what if I don't talk to him for a few weeks or months... and in the meantime he totally forgets about me and goes on with his life ? I'll be brutal.yes,this is quite possible. But, at least you would have a chance to win him back ( or, even better, to move on yourself in the meantime ). It's not a big chance, but it's a chance. If you carry on like now, you are gonna totally destroy this chance,and if he has any feeling for you left, you're gonna kill it and he will not be able to think of you with any warmth, understanding or sympathy ,not even as a just a friend.
You don't want that to happen, right ?. So, listen to your friends and be strong. Good luck
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