A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am a 40 year old woman, I have been in a relationship and living with my partner for nearly 9 years and I have a 12 year old son with asperger syndrome who is not my partners. My problem is I am feeling confused, emotional and panicky and I have been for a few months, I don't know if it could be the mid life crisis or not, I had an affair last year, someone I met on facebook, I fell madly in love with him, he was my dream man and I left my partner for him, but I panicked and came back to my partner because this guy had no job, no house, we would have had no-where to go and thats no good for my son. My partner was devestated when I left, I couldn't look him in the eye, because I couldn't stand to see the pain there, I hated hurting him, I left him and went back to him in the same evening! He treats me like gold and worships the ground I walk on, but I feel trapped, I can't get the man I had an affair with out of my head, I still love him and I keep getting crazy thoughts in my head to just drop everything and leave, run away, escape and hope this guy comes with me, even though I hurt him badly when I went back to my partner. I feel like crying all the time, on one hand I want to just run, on the other I'm so scared to leave everything behind, but something's got to happen because I can't carry on like this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): How can you walk out the door then come back and then not know what you want. You must be putting your husband through hell. Does he not deserve a bit off security and to know where he stands, he must be so cut up, not only has he to come to terms with the affair then you leaving then wanting the other person, what must he be feeling.You had choices and made them for you and you alone not your son or your husband, I seriously advise you to make a real and genuine desiscion very quickly for all concerned and what ever that decision is then you have to give it 100% that is how you or anyone would like to be treated and it's not too much to ask for as a human being so for Gods sake put all concerned out of the misery you have created.Live and let live this must be agony for everyone.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2009): Not in a judgmental way, but why did you have an affair in the first place? It sounds as though you need stability for your son. At the same time it maybe sounds like you needed a rush of excitement... hence the affair? But maybe you fell in love with the feelings and not necessarily the new person because why would money matter if you couldnt live without him? And do you have any means of supporting yourself and son without a man because maybe you should be single and focus on yourself and your son until you can be an asset to someone's life and not a source of stress. You blatantly disrespected what sounds like a wonderful man. You need to know yourself better and have more respect for the people in your life. Lead with your heart, not your need for material things or excitement. In the end the choices are obvious, you pick one or none.
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A
male
reader, mulattoman  +, writes (4 March 2009):
 You don't deserve your husband. You obviously don't love him and you're only using him for his job and house so you can feed off of him to help yourself and your son. Gold digger. That's practically what you are. You'll stay around to reap the benefits but you'll have sex with other men.
Who do you think you are?
Leave your husband. Go with the man you want to have sex with.
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