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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Well here it goes...THIS IS A REAL PERSONAL MATTER. I PREFER NO JUDGEMENT. Just advice please. I am 24yrs old. I have had 4 pregnancies. 3 abortions and 1 live birth (a daugther). I was always the type that thought i would never do that. However, the circumstances were difficult. Or so I thought (at the time). Now that I am older, I see things very differently and regret very much having them. I do want to give my daughter a sibling very bad. I have not been able to forgive myself for them and its preventing me from going on with my life. I have two main concerns:Would I be able to conceive again and give my baby girl a sibling in the future?Would i ever be able to move on towards the future and away from my mistakes that i strongly regret?I would appreciate any generous input to my situation.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, red1982  +, writes (7 March 2008):
I think talking to your Dr about the abortions would be a good idea - if only to put your mind at rest. I'm sure that you will be fine though.
Take care of yourself.
xx
A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (7 March 2008):
 HEY!!
Thats great :) i get a lot of bladder/kidney problems and that causes my abdomen pain :S i think that when you are definately ready to have another child, then just go to the GP and ask if there are any reasons why you may not be able to concieve again..
GOOD LUCK :)!! Dont hesitate to mail me about anything x x x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your responses and advice. I really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. Just to let you guys know I had recently went to the doctor and had some ultrasounds done on my pelvic(which will be the uterus & ovaries) and abdomen done due to some pain I had and everything came out normal. It was something to do with the bladder. However, I'm not sure if I should schedule an appointment just to discuss the previous terminations in specific. Any input woud be appreciated. Once again thank you to all who responded. It made me feel a lot better. Thank you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): You had three abortions and that's ok. Stop being so harsh to yourself! An unplanned pregnancy is a difficult situation and you made the best choices for yourself at the time. Like Waterloo said, babies should be born into loving environments, not stressful ones. Also, if you hadn't had those abortions you'd have four children now, and you're only 24. Life would be very difficult for both you and your kids. You really did make the right decisions. The past is in the past and you can't change it, so just look to the future to bring you happiness. Post-abortion counseling is definitely worth looking into; I'm sure Planned Parenthood or a similar clinic would offer it affordably. Abortion rarely causes infertility so I'm sure you will be able to have future children. If it makes you feel better then go to your gynecologist and have an exam done; she'll be able to tell you if anything's wrong. Don't worry, your daughter WILL have younger siblings!
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A
female
reader, red1982 +, writes (6 March 2008):
I certainly won't judge you for having abortions, but I think that you are judging yourself, and far too harshly. You made the decisions you did because of the circumstances at the time, even if now you look back and see that things could have been different. You were younger and didn't have the same experience you have now. So please stop beating yourself up about this.
I think that as long as there were no complications following the procedures then you should be fine to concieve another child. It may be worth asking your doctor for advice, he should be able to put your mind at rest.
You my benefit from post abortion counselling. I'm sure that they have services in the US. I know that we have services here for people who have had an abortion and can't get over it. Try looking in your phonebook or speaking to your Dr, perhaps you could try phoning the clinic where you had the abortions performed.
I'm thinking of you
xxx
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (6 March 2008):
 You can always try and whether you will be successful or not , only God knows.
You can move on if you forgive yourself and do not be too judgmental or harsh on yourself.
You can always rationalize your mistakes to inexperience and youth.
Good luck to you .
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (6 March 2008):
HEY!!
The past is the past and you have done it so stop feeling angry about it.. like you said, under the circumstances the outcome was needed.. There is a high chance you will be fine to have another child and when you feel ready, have one :)
GOOD LUCK! Feel free to mail me at any time x x x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): Stop beating yourself up. Ok, you had three abortions and i know there are people out there who would put you down for this, but not me. You did it at the time for a reason, so move on, stop whittling about it. You will have another child in the future, you are still young and it will happen. Babies should be brought into the world surrounded with love and not stress, therefore no one should have a child if the circumstances are all wrong, and in your case they were. Move on and give your love to your lovely daughter and in time she will have a little brother or sister. Enjoy life, cos we only get one go of this world.
Take care
xx
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