A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:What do here? I feel I may have "overshared" at work telling a few people I am having surgery in the next 2 months.I have told a few people 9 (not everyone..! there are 20 others who don't know and wont...) I am having surgery soon, and I need 2 weeks off work. I am telling my boss this week. I have the sick leave so it wont be a problem. Telling people was part of conversation as it came up and I wanted to tell 4 particular trusted people, to "vent" as I am anxious.I am NOT doing it for attention seeking, I am not that sort of needy demanding person..! I am quieter and polite and try to be low maintainance. but.. now I regret it and really hope people do not think I did it for attention. Surgery is is October. "I do not want whispers at work "she did it for attention.." i was anxious,, give me a break..I'm not mentioning it again (except my boss on wednesday when I see him,) hopefully people will forget. If they mention it I will change the subject. is that Ok? I am very regretful about saying anything as my colleagues are not out of work friends but we all get along ok at work. I feels I overshared as I am a little anxious about the surgery and needed to talk. I do not have aspergers or any disability I am just anxious as I will be alone with this surgery, I have a friend who can check on me at home of course, and other friends may text, but I have NO family and live alone. I will be OK. will not ask anyone for help. I am prepared for this,why do people share like this? some people I work with tell everything! I do not. was I oversharing??I briefly told them what I was having done (no gory details)and feel so so so bad about it.I feel so so bad and will shut up from now on.. help.
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male
reader, Riot2017  +, writes (8 August 2017):
What is done is done, and there is nothing you can change.
My advice to you is: if you are private person like me, you should not tell anything to anyone.
If you don't need to make people pity about you, don't tell that kind of stuff, regardless of how anxious you are.
However, if you trust the people that are on your work, then it's OK to tell them that information, since it could be important.
Just don't worry and get better!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (8 August 2017):
 OP, you know oversharing would be?
If you told co-workers where you are in your cycle or how sore you are after getting a new BF. THAT would be awkward for others and definitely TMI and oversharing.
So relax, it's OK to talk about what's going on in your life with co-workers.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2017): Its natural to be anxious if you are facing surgery as most people are.The problem lies in not being sure how people relate to you.Oversharing is not particularly relevant in this circumstance as they will see by your absence that you have other circumstances going on and once people know why this is so,they have no need to speculate.You will probably want to share some of the details about how you feel about this forthcoming surgery with others so perhaps you could join an online support group or forum for others with a similar condition.Then you will have a platform to compare experiences, diagnosis, adjustments, prognosis, and impact on your life.Being a woman at a certain age of maturity doesnt mean you need to be accepted by everyone and anyone as your life experiences should have taught you that we all change in different ways.If you feel extremely vulnerable seek help close to home via your doctor and nursing staff at your general practice.Living alone may increase your vulnerability and there is no shame in seeking help from social services adult department who may find you some home help during your recovery and longer term future advantages in other ways.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 August 2017):
 I don't think this even qualifies like oversharing !
To me it sounds like a normal conversation : " So, anything new ? " " Yeah, my brother gets married " " Oh, nice. I, instead, will have to have an operation in October , I 'll have to take 2 weeks sick leave... "
No big deal. While at work it's neither wise, nor interesting for who listens, to share all the minute , mundane details of your daily life-.. if something big or unusual happens, and you feel like saying it, you say it. That's normal. Why should your colleagues think that you did it " for attention " ? By this token, nobody could ever share ANYTHING even remotely personal ... illnesses, weddings, pregnancies, car accidents, travels, ...nothing ! Least they should be accused of " seeking attention ".
People could only talk about the weather ,or the price of potatoes in Idaho, and communication would be stilted and perfunctory .
Do not overthink it; you did nothing strange.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2017): I meant to say:
"Once the cat is out of the bag, that's that. No worries! Relax!"
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2017): Oh, my dear, you're being totally normal considering your circumstances.
I wouldn't be too worried about what people think. You can't control the thoughts of others; and even if you told only one person; others would have heard it through the office grapevine. It's best to share your own news.
If you're gone for two weeks without an explanation; that's when people will start speculating things. Now they know the reason, and you've squashed any speculation to the contrary. Besides, oversharing would be more like giving the details of what the surgery is for; and going too much into why you need it. That is too much information. Once the cat is out of the back, that's that. No worries! Relax!
You have friends to look after you, you won't have to fill everyone in on why you were MIA for two weeks, and your boss knows. That's all settled and out of the way.
Don't worry. Best of luck with your surgery! Try to let go of the anxiety, talk to your therapist if necessary. You'll receive flowers and cards from your co-workers. They'll make you feel better.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 August 2017):
Eh, don't sweat the little things OP.
It's not uncommon for people to share such news because they are worried, anxious or even excited.
As long as you don't go on and on and on about it, it's all good. There will be other stuff to talk about around the water cooler.
Good luck with the surgery, and chin up.
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