A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupidmy friend's boyfriend has been reporting her to me...the first time he told me she travelled and stopped calling/texting him and even when he calls ,she either doesnt pick up or wen she does, she's very rude to him; then eventually she told him she would be the one to call him and he should neva call at night (which was strange because they used to have phone talks at night).the truth is i knew where exactly she went to but i never knew they were dating. infact she told me he had once asked her what they were doing together and she told him they were simply friends. so i was stunned when he began mentioning "girlfriend and love"... i mean most of the time, we all three are together but i never questioned anything because i have many close male friends without strings and i do not like to pry.recently, he called me up frantically so we met up and he said she had been beating him, disgracing him in public over little or nothing , flaring up in anger at the slightest chance, destroyed his property , scratched his car, tore almost all his shirts...over any girl she thinks he is seeing (his friend who he takes along with him to work most days of the week because their offices are close and his new neighbour).he wants me to talk to her -which is not a problem but the issue is1. he doesnt want me to tell her he told me but how can i talk to her about this without her knowing he said something since she never said anything?2. she never told me they were dating( i vaguely suspected that something was on but i ignored the thought...and it was happening right under my nose too!)3. if i confront her about it,she ll go back and fight him... i pity him enough already ,i don't want to add to his troubles. honestly, she has anger problems and she never listens.and she acts like nothing is going on...i didn't tell him that she didn't tell me they were dating as that would have caused problems but i told him to be honest with himself about what he truly wants with this girl; i told him this was abuse and he didnt have to take it; i told him no one deserves violence; i told him to leave if it wasn't doing him any good and i told him to talk to someone from his side or someone neutral.did i do the right thing? i just don't like what's happening but i don't want to invade. confronting my friend isn't a problem but once i do, he ll be in for more trouble. so what should i do? Eventually today i did talk to her about it and she got really angry and near violent, i had to hold her down on the bed.She says he is cheating and was long uninterested in her and he swears he isn't, and that he likes her too much to do that. She doesnt believe. I even had to do a set-up so they could both have closure and say all that's on their minds but they just kept shouting at eachother and none wanted to listen. I was simply plain with them and refused to take sides. She says he doesnt defend her and sides other ladies instead of her/ he doesnt command respect and is a people pleaser and she can't have such around her... She was so annoyed at everytin that she hit him. They are both my friends so i eventually couldnt afford to be on the fence. its a mess... Did i do the right thing?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Maureen. What you say is true...my elder sister has actually told me to stay away from her in the past. I've washed my hands off it and i told them both to never involve me again as that was the last time ild ever do such.
Thank you,this helped
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