A
female
age
51-59,
*unshinegrl136
writes:I have been involved with a man that is a neighbor in my apt complex he lives 2 doors down. He used to talk to me about how miserable he was with her,we were good friends and he said he loved talking to me and I helped him by listening to his problems, then a month later we had sex. he has a gf and 2 kids and says he cant leave because of his kids and he doesn't have enough money to get his own place right now and he tried moving in with me 7 times but he ends up back with her because he says he gets weak when he see's his kids. He says he loves me and wants to be with me. This has been going on for a year and it's always on again off again. he keeps coming back and I refuse to have sex with him but when he's here we just watch movies and cuddle, he says he loves that. Then she will bang on my door and they argue in my apt. and she tells me things that hurt me to make me hate him,she was always saying how she didnt love him anymore and wanted him gone so now that he wants me she changed her mind. What should I do? I tried telling him we can be together when he leaves her, but he won't let me move on and remember he lives 2 doors down from me!
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female
reader, sunshinegrl136 +, writes (10 January 2008):
sunshinegrl136 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyou have a good point, and it's been very helpful, ty
A
female
reader, kirsty_29  +, writes (9 January 2008):
 Okay,
I've been seeing alot of this on here. Why do you let him back in your door? How about saying no, piss off, fix your problems, decide what you are doing and don't come here until you do.
The first mistake you made was talking to him in the first place when you knew he had a girlfriend and kids, it doesn't matter if they were on the rocks, wouldn't it have been easier to say, hey, go see a professional. Then you two added sex to the mix, DANGER. Honey, they always say they can't leave because of the kids, and if it isn't that it's some other excuse.
7 times is too many times to "try" and move in. After all, you do live 2 doors down from the girlfriend and kids, just how the hell is that going to work out?
Another thing, she tells you things to hurt you and make you hate him...well,lol, that would make sense to me with the situation, you did have sex with her man.
Alot of times when a woman says, I hate him, I want him gone!! It's the anger fueling it, and unfairness and current crap going on in the relationship, the feeling doesn't always last. That said, it certainly didn't mean that you should shack up with her guy! And whether you notice or not, no matter how pissed she is at him, she'll still see him as "hers".
Get away from him, no offense but are you blind? Look at the crap this is causing and look at what it's doing to everyone. Leave him in the dust. Don't let him in anymore. It's a dysfunctional situation. Understand that the woman and those kids are a part of his life forever, they are never ever going to go away, they were there first.
This is not a good situation, get yourself out of it and save face. I'm sure you could find someone else. Maybe you should consider moving, get away from the scene altogether.
I feel sorry for the kids.
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A
female
reader, sunshinegrl136 +, writes (8 January 2008):
sunshinegrl136 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, that is good advice from a male point of view. I think your right and that's what I'll have to do. Oh your last answer WAS mean but thanks for making up for it by giving good advice.
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A
female
reader, sunshinegrl136 +, writes (7 January 2008):
sunshinegrl136 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice, I understand he has a family but he keeps telling me he doesnt love her and they're not married. I try to forget him but he keeps coming back. I try to do whats right but then I get weak.
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A
female
reader, AJ jess ^..^  +, writes (6 January 2008):
 hunnie this guy has kids and is obviously not going to leave them, you have to tread carefully here he may love you but at the end of the day you have to do whats right
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