A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I have a situation at my new work. I have started to get feelings for one of my trainers in work. He has been flirting back (I think) and we had a conversation recently about me being newly single and that he thought I was cute etc then he said he was in a very unhappy relationship and that if they broke up he would take me on a date. The next day he rang me (I was off work) to rebook a training session with him ( I didn't need one so this was a bit random and they don't ring to book it).I thought in the back of my head that he had broke up and was ringing to see if I liked him so we flirted and it was proper flirting. Later on Facebook (Work Facebook) he had to change the time so I said well sure text me if you need to change again and he said "I don't think my girlfriend would be happy and email me if your lonely" He also came across like he was texting others. I do not know if he is playing me or he just wants to be friends, I feel so so awkward now and have to go back to work on Monday. I really wished I hadn't flirted. What is this guy at? :( or am I over reacting and just continue as we are? I feel so stupid :(
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 March 2012):
 of course his relationship is "unhappy"
but trust me no one stays if they are THAT unhappy
I flirt all day with guys at work.. they flirt back.. it doesn't mean anything and none of us are unhappy in our relationships....
I think that work colleagues should be OFF limits anyway
A
male
reader, Uncle PJ  +, writes (4 March 2012):
 While a guy is still in a relationship (however unhappy it may seem), do not get involved romantically/physically with him. He may well have feelings for you as what he has done seems to differ from the norm at work. But that could be just to have a no strings affair.The only way you could ever be remotely sure of his feelings for you is if he broke up with his girlfriend and asked you out. As that doesn't seem like happening, I would advise to stay away from him in that context.As for flirting, that is sometimes just a bit of harmless fun that keeps conversation going etc in awkward conversations. But I would still advise probably not to flirt with him again if he is thinking about cheating on his girlfriend. Don't feel stupid, it's not your fault that some guys enjoy female attention and are always seeking ways of getting 'some'. I'm sorry that it may be you he was trying to get 'some' off but don't give into him as you will only get hurt at the end. As I said, the only way you could be sure he was interested is if he finishes with his girlfriend and asks you out on a date. Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, StephanieMcQueen +, writes (4 March 2012):
 "I don't think my girlfriend would be happy and email me if your lonely"? He sounds very fishy. I would say keep your distance we don't know where is he at right now and your not over reacting at all its normal and you shouldn't feel stupid the only one that should be feeling stupid is him for being undecided when it came to you also leading you on like you said you guys were flirting properly so it shouldn't feel akward and don't pay mind about monday it'll be fine if he comes over answer what your being asked but keep it short and simple.
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