A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:oK my problem, im in my mid 20"s. growing up was Pretty hard my parents all ways working you same old story, but my problem is that all my life ive been stuck in a limbo of sick mental mind games. that i find really hard to overcome and people and family think im crazy and very reseved, but im not i dont think. well let me begin since i can remmeber i been in a secret affair with my cousin, we been at it for years. he and i have girlfriends but now its my time to get married so ive been avoiding him for sake of being truthful with my wife, but i dont love him like that we never kissed or anything just sex i was a bottom and i enjoyed it but now all i do is crave it from himwe cant be the same room but whats even more messed up before i used to beg him to mess around he would say a few kinky words and i would get hard. its so messed up and not to get off subject i had a very close friend no blood relation i grow up with him and hang out with him he was my right hand man, i used to go to his house and sleep over and he would play with my tool when i was playing asleeep but when he said he wanted to sleep with me i played stupid about what was going on because i valved my friendship with him. now we barely talk and my soon to be wife is asking to many qustions about the status of our friendship i dont hold a grudge but i miss him. now to the cousin, my game with him was we would both cheat on the girlfriend with permiscois girls but if they didnt put out it was no problem we had one other. but now it all stop and im scared to even get close to other man that may compromise my secret life but im very horny and my soon to be wife cant please me. its not like i can tell her to put a strap on! im dead i just dont know what life has in store for me but hope its good because i love my girl just i just think i can be complete if i can over come this sick mental state of mind can some one help
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2010): YOUR GAY. accept it. stop pretending. be who your are. but please consider that guy you've been doing with, is your cousin. so if your going to be gay. be gay with someone not related to you. It's unfair to your wife to be staying in this relationship when really you don't want to. find someone to make you happy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you everyone but im cant i must do the right thing
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A
male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (6 October 2010):
 Um... it sounds to me like you are more bi/gay than you are willing to accept. Especially since you feel so guilty about this, you are keeping a secret, and the fact that you crave it so much.
You're NOT going to like what I've got to say but I feel very strongly about this... either you TOTALLY come clean to your girlfriend/fiance and PRAY that she still accepts you and all your flaws - maybe even works with you on occasion to get your needs satisfied... OR... you completely call off the marriage.
It is REALLY REALLY unfair - mainly to her - to get married to her if you are not totally open with her... and she can not satisfy you... and you are still craving another man. In the long run the craving will be just too much for you and you'll end up hooking up again (either with your cousin... or someone else that just happens to come along).
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A
female
reader, kerbear75  +, writes (6 October 2010):
I am not sure about relations with a cousin, but that aside...
You can not deny your sexuality. As you already know, you are not happy. There could be solutions, like the strap on ect... but this is not something you should hide from your wife to be. It will hurt her more in the long run.
Her love for you might surprise you. You should be able to trust in that because that is what marriage is. You have to be able to be yourself. You cant have big secrets. I dont know that I would tell her names of the men... or so many details, but you should really give her the respect of knowing all about you.
I am scared failure to tell her will hurt both of you so much more in the end than if you try to be true to her and deny your own true needs.
Good Luck
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