A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend (17) and I (18) have been going out for just over a year and 10 months now, however we are going through a really rough patch at the moment. Since february of this year 2008, he and i have been planning a holiday to Paris, disneyland, for my 18th birthday in october just gone. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions, but to cut a long story short he was sorting the holiday out with a travel agent his parents use all the time. I have just however a week before the holiday found out that he has been lying to me the whole time about it as he was going to Dubai with his mum and dad the whole time and has known since feb. So from february till october, he has put me through a rollercoaster of emotions, saying it was booked all we had to do was pay but then something would come up, such as the travel agent running off with £45000 into hiding, and trading standards being involved and the police for card fraud, all of which he made up.Anyway when i found out, obviously my parents got involved and his. His parents disowned him almost and are still not on spreaking terms with him and mine are obsolutely livid. I was totally heartbroken and couldn't speak to him for at least a week, but it started to eat away at me and i was desperate to know why he had done it. I therefore sat down with him, just us two and asked him why he did it, and why he allowed it to go on for so long? His reply was simply i don't know why i did it.We have since began talking again, and he has since told me that he did it because he didn't want to hurt me by leaving me behind and ruining my 18th by going away with them, he said he hadn't thought about how it would pan out and how bad i would get hurt. Does this seem like a genuine reason or is he just playing me again? I can see a change in him now (for the better) and i can see now more than before all of this, that he loves me and he does appear truely sorry. However i just don't know if i can trust him anymore and without trust i can't carry on with the relationship.I really want to get back together with him as i do believe this was all just a stupid mistake, at my expense however, and i really do love him with my all.But my parents ar emaking things difficult as they don't want me to get hurt again, constanly asking what he's said to me each day and almost steering me in the direction of a breakup. I understand that he lied to them also and they can now not trust him either but it is my choice what to do. How do i make my parents understand that i am getting back together with him and make them see that he's changed?Sorry this is so long.Thanks in advance for the adviceG
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (27 November 2008):
So your question is how can you make your parents see that he has changed?
How has he changed? He hasn't done anything to make this up to you. YOU had to chase him for an explanation and he's just made up some crap about how he didn't want to hurt you so he lied to you for months and months. When he could have just told you one little white lie and then told you he couldn't go... he kept giving you hope knowing he was going to hurt you.
If he wants to get back to you then he has a lot of work to do.
He has to do something to show he is sorry rather than just pulling puppy eyes.
Your parents seem to be a lot more clued up than you and I think you should give them some credit.
Good Luck!! xx
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