A
female
age
30-35,
*scape!!
writes:hey... ok ive got a problem im 16 and theres this guy whose 20 and we really like each other... he's one of my mates pals but we havent met coz of the distance but since yestaday we both realised that we have been what each other are looking for and that we both have liked each other for a really long time but havent said aything coz of distance but we click and are soooo perfect for each other... the thing is im scared about the age difference.. is he to old for me? i mean my sister isnt happy im talking to him.. she says all 20yr olds care about sex.. but if he really liked me he wouldnt force me and would understand... right?? i wanna be with him so bad but what must i do?? go for it or not?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2007): hello i am having this problem right now also and my boyfriend lives in france and i live in england and we have only ever met once and that was the day we met after meeting him i was sure over time that we were ment for each other etc etc and know i dont know what to do ither so hun you are not alone he is almost 21 now and i have just turned 16:(
A
female
reader, Catlova +, writes (16 May 2007):
I colorado where I live, 15 and 16 year old are allowed to date anyone who is no more than nine years older than them or 3 years younger than them. It would be illegal to date him if you were 14 or younger in my state, just make sure it is okay with your parents, because this age gap may seem a little sketchy.
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A
female
reader, KayFay  +, writes (31 March 2007):
It's funny to me, I was in your shoes about a year ago. I met this 20 year old at a party and I too was 16, his gf broke up with him THAT night because he staired at me. We started to hang out and like you and your boy, yes we realized we had looked for somebody like eachother our whole lives. He asked me out after we knew eachother for only 2 weeks, it turned out he'd lived one street behind me in my neihborhood all this time. It was crazy. I lied and told my parents he was 18, then we decided to be honest and tell the truth bc truth always looks better. He turned 21 2 months into the relationship 4 months later i turned 17. We've been together for a year now and we're about to move in together 2 states away from my parents, we are also engaged to be married.
So no hun, the age does not matter. You never know what can happen. Just because my situation turned out like this doesn't mean yours is though, keep your gaurd and make sure he isn't just a horn dog like the person above me said.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2007): When I was 20, sex and girls were complementary. My focus was having fun and education/making money. It is too much of a stereotype to bundle all boys into one category and label them as that. It IS possible he is a horn dog, but it IS also possible he isn't.
In short, the age difference isn't a problem, so long as he's not 30 dating a 12 year old. The real problem here is that you're worried you'll be forced into having sex with him. You see, there are two things that you can do: A) say no to him and hope he'll understand, and B) never put yourself in a compromising position - eg: being in his room or at a party getting drunk or the like.
You can date, hold hands, hug, kiss, etc - go right ahead, but if you don't want sex, just decline and wait it out.
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