A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Okay first I will say I know it was wrong to have an affair, I was married (knowing I was headed for Divorce) he was married as he said 'not happily'. He persued me. It lasted for about 4 months - was not intimate until after a month, he was transferred out of town and we still continued, with him 6 hours away! We were in love, soul mates. The thing is we have met "halfway" 2 times. Since his transfer, after we met the first time he left a "generic" email saying he wanted to work it out with his wife. He didn't call for a week then calls and says he loves me, etc. We met again 3 weeks ago, same thing - and instant message i could not read, and no phone call. I have tried this time to call just for closure but nothing, for some reason I can't get past this.Any suggestions?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionStill no call from this guy after 3 weeks, I don't know why but I want closure, I also for some reason want to explain to him that I did not lie to Him since that is all I saw of the instant message he left, (the computer shut off and I have no idea what the rest said)I know it was not going to be forever I just thought and wanted it to end in better terms, any suggestions?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for you help I know what you say is true but he is the one who meantioned love first ect, after 3 days was willing to leave his wife, ect. was even doing everthing he coudl to get caught because he thought she would leave, then she threatened to leave him broke..but this last time he was talking as though he was so angry with her, then just 5 hours later after he saw her he stopped calling with no explanation this is 3rd time he has just cut the cord so to speak with no explanaton, last time it took over week to call it has been 3 weeks this time, I never asked him to leave her i really just want some sort of closure I need to concentrate on my own divorce and kids..i just hurts because i am not that kind of person and i guess i don't see how others can be so cold hearted because he never gave me that impression from the start he seem so sincere about his feelings for me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008): Hi
I would suggest that you forget about this guy. It seems to me that he was merely looking for a meantime relationship - one that would help him to satisfy his immediate needs while he consider what to do about his marriage.
You became a vunerable person because your own relationship was about to end and so I can see why it was easy for him to have persuaded you. Now I think, it is time for you to move on and put this down to experience.
Men are cowards at the best of times,especially when it comes to discussing issues that they have not dealt with appropriately and in most cases they will not see what they have done as wrong. Therefore, I would say forget about trying to contact him and the next time he tries to reach you let him know that you have moved on for the better.
Consider yourself as a special person who deserved more than a bit on the side.
Take care
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (14 April 2008):
 Hi,
It looks like he was into the relationship for different reasons than you. You were splitting up with your partner and seeking love, he is staying with his and needs sex outside his marriage.
Two differing motives, and now you are free to pursue him the relationship doesn't have the same attraction. You are now available so probably by his terms less attractive to him.
Married men seek the thrill of the chase and the excitement of potentially getting caught, you offer none of that now. You are single now so why don't you meet someone who is unattached , there are plenty of single men out there.
Good luck.
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