A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have been seing this guy now for about 4 weeks. we are so happy with eahother and i know he is going to ask me out soon. only problem im faced with is he is now having major work issues he has pushed me away from it which is not fair on me and he refuses my help when i try and help him and dosnt text or call me back. i havnt heard from him in 2 weeks so i decided to give him a text asking if were still cool and he said we are. he wouldn give me straight answer so i texted him again and my emtions took over i didnt mean to that i kind of cracked at him i got him to the point where he has even blocked me off facebook. then he sent me a text afterwards saying i need to relax and take things slow. im confused because he hasnt told me he dosnt want me and i know for a fact if he was that angry with me he would tell me then and there never to talk to him again. i know there is hope for us and i feel so bad for pushing him to the limit where it had to end like this., i dont know what to do as we both like eeach other so much and i see it as just a rough patch where ggoing thru and i hope he will come back to me what should i do ?
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female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (1 December 2010):
 You aren't even dating! wth?
Slow down. You sound kind of bunny boilerish right now and I don't blame him for trying to get away from you. If you are acting like this now, how will you be if you were actually going out?
Stop texting him and step back from this situation for a while. You are way too emotionally invested in this and need to realize that you have no claim on his time or emotions.
A
female
reader, Queen_Ellie +, writes (1 December 2010):
i have the same issue except i havent been blocked on facebook yet, apparently the best thing to do is to ignore him and wait till he comes to u, i know its hard cause im going through same thing right now, and i hate it! Now just wait till he contacts u!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): I think this guy has been scared off a bit, sorry! You have known him for four weeks, but he's not asked you out yet?
Yet you have from what it looks like bombarded him with texts (several) " whether you're still cool" then textd him again because you became emotional. Way TOO full on when you've not been dating someone and it's not at the point where it's equal desire for such intense communication.
So yes, I think he's right, you do need to slow right down, just leave him alone for awhile - or at least 7-10 then perhaps send a text to ask how he's doing, but nothing heavy or emotional. I'm afraid that turns guys off, if the get that before even dating a girl, as it makes them wonder what she would be like if they were in a relationship, whether she would be clingy and insecure.
As for the work issue, well as you are not his girlfriend of a few months, I don't think him wanting to deal with this alone, is him pushing you away. It's his job, and in fairness there is nothing you can do concrete to alter his situation at work, and if he wants to deal with it personally himself, and you're kind of suggesting you want to be in on that too already, helping etc..he may be feeling just a little crowded by you.
It's too much too soon for him, so just let this little hic-up settle down for a while. Concentrate on you,and I do wonder if you're you're a lacking a little in self-confidence, need lots of feedback, being told everything is cool, and before dating, text a lot so you feel the guy is keen.
Only a thought, but I hope the advice to slow it all right down helps..I'm sure things will be fine, if you can manage to give him some room to sort out his work situation and get back on his feet again.
Good luck!
Jilly
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (1 December 2010):
 Okay, you might not want to hear what I'm going to say to you, but it's the truth. If he's blocking you off of Facebook and ignoring your texts, then he's wanting to get away from you. This is not a "rough patch".
The only way you have any possible chance with this guy is to STOP all communication with him. Don't text him anymore. Don't ask about him. Don't call him. Don't be where he is. He doesn't want to be callous and outright tell you that he doesn't want you, but all of his actions are saying that.
If you continue to run after him and text him and keep contacting to him, you'll be treading into stalker territory. Take the hint and move on.
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