A
female
age
41-50,
*ired and Losing Hope
writes:i really need some advice about my husband who has not worked in a almost a year. i met him in august 2006 and we got married december 2007 after he lost all his money in the stock market. he inherited his money from his mother who passed away when he was 30. he has no family and his father never recognized him as his son since his mother only found his father to make a baby. he has no grandparents and his only aunt wont talk to him. so i married him when he had nothing and we moved from an asian country to live in my home country canada so we could marry and get work. he is from france and we thought it would be too expensive to be there. well he never worked in canada and i worked the entire time. we married so he could get a work permit but it took too long so we moved back to asia and we are opening a business with my money and he is trying to find work as a golf instructor, but since he speaks french i have to go with him everywhere to translate to english. it will be one year in mid septemeber that he hasnt worked. my father paid for his plane ticket to canada and i paid for us to return to asia. i dont know what to do, because it is robbing him of his manhood and he is getting irritable because his ego is deflated to the bare minimum. i am scared he will never be able to support me if we have a family but i am scared to leave him cause i have had too much bad luck with men and he is always there for me emotionally. this is such a mess and i am afraid to be losing my time and at the same time i am afraid to regret it if i leave him and be stuck in limbo forever. i am 31 years old and he is 36.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008): Showers.. This one is hard. Your guy needs to get work, but because of the permit and visa thing he's finding it hard. Can you afford to get some professional careers advice, can you find somebody to give you advice on what you can do. I think this question is beyond the scope of this board. You need an expert job finder/business adviser to help you out. Unfortunately, you might just have to be patient, or try to find a way to go back to Canada. Maybe he could find some informal work, like teaching French, or doing odd jobs here and there to bring some money in. I don't think you should have left Canada, he would have had more opportunities, as I understand there are some French speakers there. He needs to learn English and he needs to learn it fast, English is an international language, they teach it in French schools, and he will need it wherever he goes in the world.
A
female
reader, Tired and Losing Hope +, writes (16 August 2008):
Tired and Losing Hope is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank for all your answers so fast, but the thing is that its easy to say all that, but you have to remember that i met him on different circumstances, he has money when i met him, and it might not have worked out with him, i never felt he would leave me though because i wanted to leave him in the start and he fought for me and i admired that and thought to myself, if he fights for me now he always will and thats what i need, someone with strong will. you see i am really upset about this situation and it is trully embarrassing and i often day dream about a dream man, and i have my ups and downs, and as soon as i hear people say negative things about him i get defensive of him. he has helped me through a lot of emotional problems in my past, and he has helped me to get off of mood stabilzers that my parents forced me to take since i have been 20, so he is like my back bone, and he makes me feel secure, and all this he did before when he brought money, so its not that i want to keep him because i feel he will never leave, because now i am the one questioning leaving him and that is why i am writing here, i dont want to make some irrational decision and regret it forever, since 16 i have had borfriends and they have all disrespected me until i met this guy, but its like i am cursed and it would have been too perfect so he has got to have no money. i see so many men who cheat cause they are way hot and have inflated egos or who have tons of money and travel without their wives and......... i have a horrible past with men, and it just seems like whenever i want to leave them they are good guys and when they leave me i am the good guy, we are in a country where he has a visa for only golf, and the golf people are being so hard on him and not giving him a chance!
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A
female
reader, chloe71z  +, writes (16 August 2008):
 I agree with lexilou she hit the nail on the head so to speak. Give him a time frame like you have ONE month to find a JOB and start bringing in MONEY or you will have no place to live, or food. Cause I Am tired of SUPPORTING your LAZY behind, and this is your last chance so you better make it last. Hope this helps
Take care and God Bless
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A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (16 August 2008):
 If you leave him why would you be stuck in limbo??? Tell him to get off his arse and find ANY work. My husband would sweep the roads rather than be unemployed and at least he would have his self-respect. Get yours back and tell him to stop being a waste of time and space x
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