A
female
age
41-50,
*arriecarefree
writes:Ok right so the thing is I am in love. I met the guy about 5 years ago, it was a proper bolt out of the blue when i first saw him (never felt before or since) I worked for him and there was always this kind of hot chemistry thing going on (for both of us, by our own admission, but he had a gf and I had a bf and we couldnt do anything about it). So I stopped working there (for other reasons) we barely saw each other. I split, and he has just recently split, so I saw him at a wedding last week (after about 2 years!) was the same old thing going on... cuddles, spent half the night talking together, very close, terrible flirting, then he went to bed. I was drunk and I ended up kissing his best friend, nearly had sex with him (didnt cos we couldnt get a room, and I would have even though i dont even ike him :() so i text the next day to say was nice to have seen him again and not to leave it so long, he didnt reply. i went out, and text some saddo message about how i only wanted sex cos he had made me horny (i know... cringe!!!) and no reply. Now ive seen him on this same dating site I'm on and want to contact him, but he probably thinks either I dont like him enough cos i wanted his friend, or i'm a bit of a desperate slag who would have anyone. I know there are feelings there cos we always end up the same, in a room full of people we end up together, almost there but not quite... what do i do! I am completely infatuated with him and have been for years, no one has even come close to making me feel like i do about him!! xxx
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female
reader, carriecarefree +, writes (11 June 2010):
carriecarefree is verified as being by the original poster of the questionRight it's done... I sent a message saying "Oh my goodness! I am shocked! And (you might find this amusing given it's me...) speechless! Never thought you would be so public as to put your details on here! :) xxx" Thought that's a friendly enough icebreaker and gives him chance to reply if he is at all interested, so we'll see. Thanks so much Lottie, it's daft I know (I'm like a teenager, in reality I'm a 33 year old dovorced mother of 2!!) but I guess I just needed someone to tell me what to do! xxx
A
female
reader, LottieCole  +, writes (11 June 2010):
 I would definately go with the icebreaker, if hes interested he will let you know. Men dont like head games even though they unknowingly play them themselves. Your giving yourself the chance to find out once and for all, if it doesnt work out then yes you get closure and can move on. I hope it works out for you, just take a deep breath and go for it :) x
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A
female
reader, carriecarefree +, writes (10 June 2010):
carriecarefree is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Lottie, basically you're telling me what I would tell myself, but I have no idea why I just can't face doing that... being so direct! I have decided (although I'm gonna sleep on it!) to send a flippant comment on his profile on this dating site just to remind him i exist, like a "hey fancy seeing you on here" Ice breaker kinda thing (as I feel quite embarrassed about the last time we met, and the desperate text message I sent afterwards!!)Although part of me wants to get it all out and tell him exactly how I feel (and maybe I would if he responds to the ice breaker), but I am scared how he might take that! I know logically it's best to know one way or another, and to be fair it's not like I ever have to see him and if he ignores me or tells me he's not interested that's the closure I would need to move on. What do you think?? xxx
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A
female
reader, LottieCole +, writes (10 June 2010):
Dear carriecarefree,you have two choices you either run away or take the risk. You need to contact him and ask to meet up for a casual drink and then you need to tell him how you feel. Explain to him that you would like to start dating as you feel there is chemistry between you. Asking him how he feels will allow you to understand where hes coming from and if he is open to that idea. As long as you come across as the cool confident woman that you are regardless of his decision you wont have any regrets. If he decides that a relationship with you is not for him, move on and find a man that does deserve you.I wish you all the bestLottie x
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