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female
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*tar girl
writes: I hope this isnt too long but it cant be too brief as it is fairly complicated.I am a 19 year old who has got herself into a bit of a situation. I am torn between two guys. The first is a guy who I met through a mutual friend just over a year ago and we clicked straight away but he had a girlfriend so nothing happened. We both went off to university at opposite ends of the country so didn’t hear from him for a while until he started texting me and dropping huge hints that he liked me. I didn’t hear from him for a while until he texted me out of the blue telling me that he had broken up with his girlfriend and that we got on really well last summer and that when we both went back home this summer we would have a great time. By the time university had ended for the year I had a boyfriend and we were reasonably serious. So when I got back home I saw this other guy and the connection was still there but I had my boyfriend so no other thoughts even crossed my mind. This was until one night at a party we were both at, we started flirting very heavily and holding hands and even kissed. I felt so horrible after it and made him promise to never tell anyone. Things were a bit weird between us for a bit after that until one night he started texting me again and I just couldn’t help myself and started sending flirty texts back. Nothing more than this happened until one night we went out drinking and we ended up going home together and sleeping together. This time neither of us felt guilty which we both thought was weird (esp since he had by now said yes to going out with a girl from uni) because we were just not the people to cheat. But we were still keen to keep what we had going for the rest of the holidays. And even when we both went back to university we decided we wanted to keep this going and hook up again the next holidays.By now things were not so good with my boyfriend but I thought I’d give it some more time. In the end we broke up, but I’m not sure if it was because of this other guy or if things were just not working between us. My boyfriend and I have gone back to being really good friends but its hard because we both still really like each other but know it doesn’t work.I’m not sure if things are like this because of the other guy or not and I’m not sure if it’s because of him that I can’t try make the relationship work with my (now) ex boyfriend.Please help, I’m torn between the two!
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female
reader, star girl +, writes (10 March 2006):
star girl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionid also like opinions on whether, if i got back together with my boyfriend (as he wants to do) if i should tell him about the cheating? because now that we are just friends i feel guilty about it, where as when we were together and i did cheat i didnt feel guilty for some reason???
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2006): i think that if you really are not the sort of person to cheat then it can't of been the perfect match for you with your now ex. i know it is very confusing but there must of been some reason for you to go off with this other guy from home in the first place. because if everything was perfect would you have cheated?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2006): Heart over logic.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2006): I think that you should simply follow your heart, whatever it may lead to.
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