| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hello, hope you can help. Everytime I go down town I see this man I really fancy. He is the same age as me and goes to the same indie gigs as me and he always comes up to where we are standing up next to me at the bar but never says anything. My friends say he seems shy but I'm quite shy until I have had a drink. I don't know what to do. Next time I see him, as I have liked him a long time I don't wanna come across desperate if I go up and talk to him. What do men think of women who approach them? Thank you x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2007): Is there a way you can find out if he's attached already? Obviously you don't want to step on someone else's toes. The fact that he stands near you, making himself "available" could be a positive sign. If he's shy, he could be hoping that something will occur to give him just cause to break the ice and talk to you. I personally don't like men who can't/won't make the first move. How can he be a hunter/gatherer if he fails at the first jump? It's often said that women really initiate moves by their body language. So find an excuse to cross the room towards him and make flirty, sincere eye contact. Try a smile. If he responds negatively, you can always say you were smiling at someone behind him, saving your blushes. Good luck!
A
male
reader, goodbutnotgifted  +, writes (27 January 2007):
 Yea, I am with gofer it! I have had women ask me on more than one ocasion from your exact situation. RED HOT. and its valentines season. Dig in and hey if YOU pop the q, you pick the place to eat. double win!!
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (27 January 2007):
 We live in the 21st century. It's not the guy's responsibility to go up to the girl anymore. If you like him then tell him!
CD
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A
female
reader, CarrieMagdelene +, writes (27 January 2007):
 I asked my boyfriend about this. He said it would be a major turn on, especially if it were a shy guy being asked out or approached. Confidence is sexy. Don't worry about coming across as desperate. Just be friendly, out going, and have a big smile on your face! :) Hope this helps, girlie! -Carrie
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