A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Ok help plz! I am in a awful point relationshipwise. I just broke up with my bf who I was going out with for a year, I love him still but just dont want to be with him anymore, it was to complicated and we just dont work, we lost the spark.At the end, we agreed to see each other and other people, so I kind saw this guy, but not properly cause he was on a break from his gf too. The furtest we went was kissing and after a few weeks he got back with his gf (he had broken up with her by now) and broke things off with me.About a month after that he kept kissing me etc at work while with his gf, but then broke it off again.About two weeks ago, I started getting close to someone else really quick. Within a few days we really liked each other, we decided to go on a date. However things happened that day, I was moody, we still went and kissed but no further but by the end I could tell he didnt like me as much. We spoke that nite and he said that this girl at his school who he has liked for 2 years started chatting to him, blah blah blah. So things were pretty much over with him, he said he needed a few days. We spoke a few days later and he said he liked me but wasnt ready for a relationship.Ok so new years came around, and i got a bit drunk and was stroking him etc threwout the nite, kissed a few times, we kissed at new years but then left the party and outside almost had sex but it was more drunken fumbling around, undressing a bit a little foreplay.So when we got back he wanted to finish it off in the toilets but I said no.SO finally that nite I met yet another guy, I had met him before and really liked him then but was with my first bf so nothing happened. We chatted all nite, he admitted he liked me when he fist met me, he cuddled me when I was crying over my ex, and I fell asleep laying in his arms.Ok so here is for the big thing, the thing that may prevent me and the final guy, the one i fell asleep with going out. All expect my first bf (J, the one i was with for a year) are brothers!! This guys has chatted to me and rung me a bit but now he seems off, I just wanna chat and explain things. I really like him, what should I do!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2007): You just very recently broke up with the boy you were seeing for a year.
What you need to do now is to be on your own for a while. Don't pursue or date ANY of these new ones, including the final man! Quite apart from the fact that they're all brothers (which could lead to jealousy and hard feelings among them) YOU need to get accustomed to being by yourself and learning to enjoy your own company and that of friends "unhindered" by any bf. This is because you need to do that, and also to think about what went wrong with your last bf and why it didn't work. Then think about what you learned from it and try to get some idea of what you would like in another relationship.
When you are ready to date again, it would be a good idea to date several. Nothing wrong with this, UNLESS you have sex with one of them - and at this point, I'd recommend you not have sex, not until someone comes along with whom you (and he) would like to develop a more serious relationship.
Hope this helps.
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