| A
female
age
36-40,
*ez2win
writes: I need advice. I'm 23, my boyfriend is 36. We have been together about a year and a half. We get on great, and we are best friends. The only hang up is his low libido. We hardly have sex at all, once a month if that, and when we do, it's initiated by me. I feel like he's only doing it for my benefit, because he feels guilty. I'm a good looking girl, and I have a normal sex drive. It's not like I'm demanding it every day, or even every week. It's not so much the lack of sex that bothers me, it's his can't be bothered to make an effort attitude that gets me. He knows it's an issue for me. I've tried everything to work through this, seducing him, romantic dinners, weekends away, talking calmly about it and having full blown, door slamming arguments. Every time I'm left feeling like an unwanted, unattractive, nymphomaniac, idiot. I'm at my wits end and am seriously considering leaving him. But I love him, and other then the sex, we have a good relationship. We spent 6 months travelling round the world together, we share the same dreams and have discussed settling down together and adopting children. His attitude towards me sexually has destroyed my confidence, and is destroying our relationship. He says he needs time, but how much more time does he need. Things are getting worse not better. Do I put him under to much pressure? He is not under alot of stress, has a healthy diet and all round he's a fit and healthy guy. What am I doing wrong? Do we need to go for councelling? He means the world to me, and I can't imagine myself with anyone else. Please help.....
View related questions:
best friend, confidence, libido, sex drive Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2007): I'm experiencing the same problem. My girlfriend had a high sex drive before me and then for the first 9 months of our relationship but now I'm lucky if she wants to have sex once a week. It's quite insulting to know that she had sex with random guys at parties before me but doesn't want to have sex with me anymore.
I've done the whole romance thing. I always tell her how beautiful she is. I pay for everything, give her gifts etc.
I still love her and everything else in the relationship but I don't want to be sexually frustrated for the rest of my life.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you've tried everything there is perhaps the only solution is to find someone more compatible for you. There are a lot of people out there and a lot of chances so don't settle for a situation that will leave you unhappy in the long run.
A
female
reader, Kez2win +, writes (6 January 2007):
Kez2win is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx babe. I know it's not really an answer, but at least I'm not alone... Hope things get better for you......They getting worse for me. We on the verge of a break up.....
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2007): hi, im having exactly the same problem as you! seeing as i still have the problem i dont have a solution but i just wanted to let you know you're not the only one. it made me feel better just reading your message because the whole thing is starting to drive me crazy, nearly like its just in my head, which i know its not. my boyfriend never attempts to have sex with me, i have to nag at him, and then i feel crap for nagging, like iv done something wrong. other than this out relationship is great, i just wish things would change. what is upsetting me the most is, like you said, the fact that he knows how much it is upsetting me and still he wont do anything to change the situation. why do they not want to sleep with us?! i know guys can have low sex drives but its not like im asking for it every night, just once in a while to make me feel like he still wants me. its been four months. im starting to feel like in in a loveless, 45 year long marriage or something. sorry i know that probably didnt help you but thank you for letting me know that im not the only one. good luck!
...............................
|
