A
male
age
30-35,
*storyteller53
writes:I was with a girl for two years, i really love her, but sometimes i was rough on her... as in i was a bit of an a**hole. Just of recent we broke up, she has sex with other men right away... Heres the clincher, she still comes to me with advice, she still flirts with me a lot, we still live together, but she says the oppostie... Im soo confused n i really dont know what to do anymore... I am moving almost 1700 miles away really soon and i dont want it to be a really big mistake... Any advice?
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female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (18 September 2008):
 Hunny everything that your saying here is honest and true to your heart, As I said before you could show this to her so she knows just how your feeling about things. Of course things are not going to be straight forward you have been through alot together, Flynn makes alot of sense, and so does Emilysanswers it could be any one of these things, She wants to remain friends but she could do this apart from you love, If someone had been a complete and utter arse to me I wouldnt want to be in the same house, If she still comes to you for advise she trusts your judgment..So all may not be lost..You say talking is not your good point can you write it down, This may help her to understand as she can reread the letter more than once...If I was in your possition and felt the way you are then Id give anything ago hun as you have nothing to loose, And if it doesnt work out then you will at least know you tryed your best..MANDY XXXXXX
A
male
reader, xstoryteller53 +, writes (18 September 2008):
xstoryteller53 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyou could be right but i definetly believe there is more to it and i have seen this happen way to many times... Ive seen buddies get their hearts ripped out by the one person they love... The woman messes around and then tries to go back. Mistake! Guy wont take her back, it hurts to think about it that way but i definetly dont think it is that simple... I get what your saying though
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (18 September 2008):
I'm going to (not disagree exactly) but give the opposite argument to Mandy.
I think you broke up and as a girl she is trying to do what all girls do and stay friends. So she is talking to you and asking you guy advice because she wants to keep you in her life as a friend.
After all it's not nice knowing there is someone out there who hates you. Especially when they live in the same house.
I think you have the best situation here really.
Tell her you want her back. Tell her why you were an arse and why you know it wouldn't happen again. Tell her all your feelings and apologise for hurting her.
If she says yes she'll forgive you then great, stay! If she says no, your behaviour made her fall out of love and she is happy being single, then you can move away and start a new life to get over her.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, xstoryteller53 +, writes (18 September 2008):
xstoryteller53 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeah... I dont know, talking isnt exactly my strong point, and i know that your thinking thats the weak point right there... youre absolutely right. The problem there is that i have tried to talk it out, and it turns into an argument. I still have a lot of faith in what is still there. It hurts so much to think back two years on anything. We did absolutely everything together and i think she finds it a lost cause. I want to change for her, but i have said this many times to her. She dont take my word and i really feel that i have messed up now. Its the one feeling that i dont want to feel anymore its unbearable and i really wish there was some way to fix it.Im scared to be vulnerable. Further advice?
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (18 September 2008):
Hi Hunny
Maybe she slept with others straight away to hurt you as she was feeling so hurt love and in most cases the women only do this for a little love but they obviously get more..She may also not wish to tell you she still cares for fear of being hurt yet again. You have admitted here what you were like sweetheart, It wouldnt hurt showing this post to her and explaining that you realise how horible you were to her. And then hopefully talking, If you did manage to sort things out you really must not bring up who or how many men she has slept with and get angry as these things are done out of hurt as I said and that would ruin things again love, If you do want her back truely and honestly and you are going to treat her well then talk love...TAKE CARE WITH LOVE AND LUCK MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2008): Tell her you are sorry for how you acted. That you do not expect anything from her, relationship or otherwise, but you didn't want to leave without having apologised for how you acted with her. That you didn't want to leave things as sour as they were.Don't try and get into her pants. Just sincerely resign yourself to the fact that you have screwed the relationship up and that all you have a right to ask for now is forgiveness.Overall just let her know it was your own fault how you acted. Not hers.Flynn 24
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