A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have decided to end our relationship. It's a mutual decision and we're going to stay friends. We're still together at the moment, because we're sorting thing out first...Anyway, the thing is, I've had a thing for one of his mates for a while. We'll call him Nick. My boyfriend knows about it and is actually fine with it. (Not the reason why we're splitting, by the way). I'm about 70% sure that Nick likes me too. My boyfriend says that after we've split, that I should go for it. Sounds great, right? But, my boyfriend, Nick and I are still going to be seeing a lot of each other so I don't know if I should say nothing just in case Nick doesn't like me too then that way it's not uncomfortable whenever we're together, or just tell him how I feel. Either way I might end up regretting it.Any ideas about what I should do?Thanks in advance.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your response.
Well, I told Nick how I feel. I wasn't going to so soon, but my ex has a new love interest now anyway so I thought why not?! Nick;s answer wasn't as good as I'd hoped but it wasn't bad either. He told me that he needs to think about how he feel about this as he had me mentally labelled as my ex's girlfriend so has never thought of me in "that way". But Nick and I spoke for hours last night and it's looking hopeful! I'm so happy!!
Nick, my ex, and I are meeting next weekend as just friends to see if there's bound to be any awkwardness should Nick and I start seeing each other. So, hopefully things will be more clear then. :)
A
female
reader, michelleAKAmandi  +, writes (6 October 2008):
 Great question, but you said you were 70% sure he, Nick, likes you. So that's a lot better than a 50/50 chance. When you and your boyfriend finalize everything and you're still hanging out, the 3 of you, that's when you can look for signs. Your boyfriend, when he will no longer be that, can possibly talk to Nick OR Nick may confide in, what will be your X, to find out his feelings on the situation. I'm sure X will tell you what was said and you'll have a better idea of what to do.
I am going to throw this in merely because it's so often happened in situations/relationships like this:
It may cause stress on the friendship between your boyfriend and Nick, merely because your boyfriend wouldn't be your boyfriend if he didn't care about you and it could cause some conflicting feelings/emotions. Not that he would want it too, but it's normal. Just know if you do pursue this that there is a chance of it causing some conflict somewhere. (I think you do know this from what you said in your question, "you may end up regretting it either way".)
I understand you don't want to cause a mess of things and that is great of you!!
To add if you do decide to find out if something can happen between you and Nick and you two do start seeing each other, you know that you will find your own things to do and there will not always be the 3 of you. That sort of thing just happens.
Good luck in whatever your decision and I wish more people thought like you before they react on things like this.
Take care and let us know how things are going.
Michelle
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