A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been going out with a guy for over a year, and we get along pretty good, and have a lot of the same interests. However, I have never been sexually attracted to him. I was at first, until I realized the sex was not very good at all. The kissing isn't very good either. There really is no spark, there, but I don't think he cares. He said he's with me and not going anywhere. It gets really hard, because when I know he wants to get intimate, I don't want to. So, I end up getting buzzed off alcohol so it goes better. I don't hang out with a lot of people, and really like his friendship, but that's all....Please help!
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 July 2010):
 The dating world can be a little cruel. We are responsible for presenting our best at all times. Do what you need to do. Tell him the chemistry isn't right between you two or hook him up with another girl. Honestly I wouldn't wait a year to tell him. Well, one year is better than two years, or five years. He will be hurt but at least him knows you tried to be attracted to him. It's possible to be friends with guys. Whether he can remain friends with you it's on him now.
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (12 July 2010):
 I agree, no good can come of this relationship at this point. Getting buzzed just to make intimacy better? That is not good. I suggest being honest with the guy. He's not going to like it, but I'm guessing that's why you haven't said anything yet. The longer you keep up this act to spare his feelings, the harder it will be for him in the end anyway.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (12 July 2010):
You need to end it with this guy and let him find someone who does love him and wants him sexually. You're only keeping him around because he represents the safe bet. You need to let him go so he can find someone else who will enjoy being with him in every. By staying, you're just being unfair to him and yourself, and you're wasting time that you won't get back. Get back out there, meet new people and let this guy go.
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