A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There is this guy I like at my school. I'm 20 and he's 21. The first time I spoke to him he was very nervous and fidgety. I was walking and talking with him but out of nowhere he just walked away in the middle of the conversation still smiling. I was a little hurt by what he did since I've never had anyone do that to me. Later though I passed by him and he was smiling at me and greeted me. Sometime the following week, I saw him before our class. I was in the hallway and I asked him if he was at the cafeteria the other day because I saw him and he gave me an odd answer like, "Yeah, Maybe, Yeah", and walked away. Again I felt a little hurt. I continued talking to other classmates and he kept walking in and out of the conversation paying most attention to what I was saying mostly. Later that day I was at the college cafeteria and he approached me and said, "I was walking around and saw you were over here so I though I'd come over and say "hi"". I was talking to him about something and again he walked away in the middle of the conversation. But from across the cafeteria I could see him staring at me. This all happened over a month ago. For an entire month, I greeted him and attempted to start a conversation, but he didn't talk much. He would act nervous still.Sometimes he can come across as cold. Once in class I asked him how his class is going and he said, "I'll let you know after the test" and in response to me asking if he studied days prior he said, "Studying? Who studies?" and he sat with his back facing me. I thought to myself, "Okay obviously he wants to be left alone", yet he talked to the guy next to him. Later that same day he went up to say "hi" to me maybe because he felt bad? Another time I said "hello" to him while he was studying and he did not make eye contact with me but simply smiled and waved.Since I dropped the class I had with him and my schedule changed, I thought I was no longer going to see him. So I sent him an email asking for his number. That was sent three weeks ago and still no reply from him. I saw him last week and he acted normal. When he saw me he had a surprised look on his face and greeted me. Again, we had a short conversation. I feel embarrassed because I'm not sure if he saw my email and is ignoring me. He does skip classes a lot so I'm not sure if that correlates with him not checking his email.To me he seems socially awkward, but my sister has a class with him and according to her he seemed normal and talked to the classmates (she did say he is odd though). I really like him, but I'm not sure if he's interested. I barely see him now. Any advice? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (22 November 2012):
 I agree with you. When he is with you he is inept and socially awkward to the point of rudeness. And I think he is trying to appear "cool" and failing. By any standards his behaviour is rude.
He has some learning to do. IF he ever did a "emotional Intelligence" (EQ) test I think he would fail miserably.
He may think he has a legitimate reason to walk away. Goodness knows what it could be. IF his reason is that he likes you becomes overwhelmed in your company then he needs to work on his communication skills.
Stop trying to interest him in any way.
If he is interested in you then he needs to do the running. Because so far his own actions have been a turn off.
You have NOTHING to be embarassed about.
If he is skipping classes a lot he may also be troubled in some way or have some issues that you are not yet aware of.
Yes you like him, I can see that. But you don't have to lay out the Red Carpet for him. Instead he has to learn the social norms and the true path to gaining your trust and your respect. Once he can demonstrate that he can be trusted and your deserves then maybe you have show more interest.
If he comments about you not seeing much of each other then maybe it is OK to let him know that you were not sure how to "read" his behavious after he walked away in the middle of several conversations as it gave you and impression that he was bored and disinterested in spending any time with you. Then the ball is in his court to lift his game, or not.
It is HIS behaviour that needs to change.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2012): Ask him if he saw your mail. If he says yes then maybe he isnt that interested.
or you could directly ask for his number or get it from a friend. See how the phone conversations go. You can tell from those conversations if he really wants your company or not.
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