A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, My question is about why men distance themselves when they are so into you? I know for sure he likes me so much, but always keeps a guard up with me. He is shy and talks and acts nervous around me. He is 39 so not a boy. By now he should be able to talk to women and share his feelings. We have known each other for over a year. We are not dating but I want to very much. I have told him I like him he said the same but that's all. He says communication is hard for him should I buy that or just keeping distance?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (17 November 2012):
 I would guess that you may have a mistaken notion in your submittal...... AND, if I am correct it explains all. To wit:
You write: ".... why men distance themselves when they are so into you?"
IF "... so in to you...." means that you are putting out for him.... then the explanation is simple. i.e. HE has gotten what HE wants.... so he no longer has to be that nice guy who enticed you to put out in the first place...
Hope this helps....
Good luck....
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 November 2012):
 They don't distance themselves when they are into you.
UNLESS like others have said.. he's never been in a relationship and he's very VERY shy...
You have told him how you feel and if you have made it clear you want to have a romantic relationship with him and he's blowing you off, he's either not interested in you this way or so psychologically impaired that he may not be a good partner.
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (17 November 2012):
 Hi
He's either not into you,therefore keeping his distance so you don't get the wrong idea.
OR
He's extremely shy. Why not ask him to go for a drink or meal, lunch would be best,then its less datey if he IS shy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2012): Men dont distance themselves if they are into someone. They distance themselves when they arent.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (17 November 2012):
 I think in many ways you have answered your question in your original post: you've clearly stated that he is shy and nervous.
My guess is that he has a social hangup with dealing with women -- especially ones he is attracted to.
I think you can 100% answer your question by answering my questions: 1) Has he ever been married before? 2) In the year that you've known him, has he gone out on a date with anyone?
If the answers are no in both of those cases, you are dealing with a 40-year-old virgin type. Yes, they do exist and you will have to be patient with him. I highly suggest that you take the initiative in asking him out (in fact, why don't you?)
Just keep in mind that you may be dealing with a guy who has little, to no experience in dating. So keep that in mind as you proceed.
Eddie
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