A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im 20 and a friend has told me they like me and i think i like them back. my problem is is that i have serious confidence and body issues at the moment and because of this, im not sure im ready for a relationship and he is 3 years older than me and is more experienced than me. what do i tell him? i scared that whilst i work out how i feel, he'll get fed up of waiting and will move on
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2007): What you have got to remember is only enter a relationship when you ready. If he won't wait for you to sort out your feelings for him before being in a relationship with him then he just isn't worth it. Find a guy who would be willing to wait for you plus will make you feel special by saying that you are beautiful etc. You need this due to what you call body issues. As for having lack of confidence plus body problems is this because of bullying? If so then the bullies were probably just jealous of you so decided to pick on you, hacking at your confidence. Just remember this, everybody hates something about their body so you are not alone.
A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (31 March 2007):
 You need to find a guy (maybe this guy) that you can really trust. The only way you are ever going to get over your body issues is by facing them and realizing that nobody has a "perfect body" and that we all have issues. If you're putting it all out there on the line with a guy you really trust, you'll soon find out that he cares about who you ARE, not what your body looks like. Self confidence comes from taking risks with the people we love and realizing that they are probably just as scared as we are.
And I'll let you in on a little secret. It never really goes away entirely, either. I'm in my 60's and I've been body conscious all my life, but I've always worked with the women I've loved (including two I married and lived with until they died) to overcome both my issues and their issues about body image.
Go for it, girl! Don't let your shyness and self consciousness cut you out of a really good thing. If he's any kind of a good man, he'll accept this and be understanding and gentle with your feelings and help you to accept yourself as you are. Talk it out, work it out, and be happy.
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A
female
reader, Ac.Joker  +, writes (31 March 2007):
 I have been in the same possision, I have donw stuff, and I done the right thing..
Because, yeah, they will move on, they do. But just say yes to him. Tell him how you feel about yourslef, and so what if he's more expreanced, tell him, that you arn't, and I'm sure he'll be fine with that. And it's hard, but I guess "practise makes perfect" as they say. but no point throuwing soemthing in your life away...
All the best.
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