A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Okay so there is this guy. I really like him, when i say really i mean A LOT. Problem is he has a girlfriend and he is 3 years older them me and i know my parents wouldnt like that. Im scared to tell him because we are like best friends and i dont want it to ruin our friendship. I have no clue what to do, do you think maybe you could tell me what to do?
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female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell +, writes (14 April 2006):
Dear Reader,
I am currently in a simular situation! Just be friendly to him and if at any point him and his girlfriend break up, get in there! Be there for him and show him what a lovely person you are!
All the best and Blessed Be,
Phoebe
xxx
A
reader, jo_betty_smith +, writes (9 April 2006):
If you told him how you felt about him, if he felt the same about you then you'd be responsible for breaking him up from his girlfriend, and if he didn't feel the same about you then it would probably spoil the friendship. So either way, you won't come out of it too well right now.
I would instead suggest not saying anything and seeing how things pan out. If he's happy with his girlfriend, then you wouldn't want to ruin that, so leave things be for now. But if you can cope with just staying as his friend and enjoying his company, then that might be a good idea. Especially if there is likely to be an issue with age difference if you were to ever get together, then it's always good to have a strong friendship before going out with someone a bit older. If you already know each other quite well then it would help reassure your parents and if you have a good friendship then it helps bridge the age difference gap.
As for more advice for what to do right now, if you felt comfortable doing so, you can always find a way to drop a few subtle hints that you like him that would be easy for him to ignore or laugh off if he doesn't like you in the same way. Just jokingly saying things like "oh, if only you were single" when lamenting your love life, just to help along in seeing you as potential girlfriend material for any time that he happens to be single in the future.
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