A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have been single now for about 5 years, I've met guys, dated a little but I find it hard to connect with someone. I met someone about 2 months ago, cliche as he's a dance teacher so super flirty but we clicked. We've spent a weekend together and he told me about his past and how he recently got out of a very very bad relationship, he opened up and so did I. But I've barely heard from him since, he's distant and matey with me. His friends have noticed he's change too not just with me, they seem convinced he likes me but has scared himself. I'm not so sure, I feel completely rejected and feel I look like an idiot as I'm the one who initiates conversation and he never makes any effort. When I last saw him he commented on how I make him smile and laugh, I told him it's not fair to say things like that.Do I give up? Do I completely back off? I really like him but I feel like a fool.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2016): How do you KNOW he isn't married or attached?That seems very likely in light of his behaviour.Maybe his wife or girlfriend was out of town that weekend?A guy who is interested will come after you. He won't be wishy washy or go out with you and then pull a disappearing act.BUT... this could be a player's tactic, you see. Push-pull. Going all out and showing interest, then going cold and pulling back. He may be using this tactic to get you to chase him. To pique your interest higher. Which in my opinion shows how utterly immature and insecure the guy is.Either way, I don't think he is worth pursuing if he is playing these silly little mind games with you.It is a turn off for most mature, secure women who know their worth.Do you know yours?Or is this dry spell you've been under for the past 5 years going to cloud your judgment where you are about to settle for somebody who is not worth your time?
A
female
reader, Ivyblue +, writes (8 October 2016):
Totally agree with Andie, back off and let what will be be. If he feels as though your changing direction maybe he will change his to catch you. If not just keep on keeping on. Good luck
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (8 October 2016):
Why is it not fair for him to compliment you?
I think you should back off and let him pursue you, if he's interested. That said, I wouldn't advise spending a weekend together so early on - it's too much too soon.
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