A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys, I'd like to know if you think I am doing the right thing or not...So...there is someone i've known for a good while but i've got to know her a lot better this year (since i split from my ex). I've realised the more i know her, the more attracted I am to her.The problem i have is that she is going through a split from her husband!!!They still live together, but the house is sold and things are moving along for them..We get on very well, and recently we've been texting a lot and meeting up just the 2 of us...on sunday we went out for a walk and met our friends in the pub later on in the day (turned up seperately to avoid accusations) and we spent all night in the pub texting each other (rather suggestive texts).We saw each other on Monday in the pub again, and she left about 10 to go home...but i text her asking if she wanted to meet me - so she did. Long story short...we went for a little walk and i kissed her - and she kissed me back.We arranged to meet on Tuesday too...and again spent time kissing and cuddling each other before she HAD to go home.I really don't know where we're heading...maybe nowehere in the end - at the moment i'm just going with the slow and seeing what happens..Am i doing the right thing???!!!
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male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (11 September 2006):
 I wish you luck, you really do sound like a nice guy. I hope it works out for you both.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am :( she really is in a state with herself, but there is nothing i can do to really help.
She has sent me texts tonight saying 'i want to be with you and enjoy our time together very much...i never thought that kissing would get to me like it has - i don't understand why kissing has escalated to be a massive deal (with herself) about having a relationship and scares her so much. she doesn't know why she cant just relax and take the good times for what they are and see what happens...she'd love to explain but doesn't understand herself'!!!
I've reasured her that its ok, and that i guess we've got together at the wrong time...but need to carry on as friends and see how we go...got another reply...
'oh hun, thank you so much for being so unconditionally kind, caring and supportive to me - especailly when you've had so much going on yourself. Thank you so much for everything, much much more than i deserve'
All i can do is stick around, and wait and see what happens - i'm not expecting anythign to happen quickly - i'd rather it took time and was right...wish me luck!!!!
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A
male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (7 September 2006):
Yes, we feel as though you are doing the right thing. Its nice that you have fully explained your intentions. You seem like a nice guy, she sounds like a nice girl and you sound like you will make a nice couple.
I wish you both the very best of luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, me again - thank you very much for your advice! I'm glad it appears I'm doing the right thing.
Just thought I'd give a little update really...we've been emailing and had a chat today about 'us'. She has been a bit worried this last day or so about where we're heading...kissing and cuddling are fine but she obviously isn't looking for an ultra serious, ultra physical relationship just now. She was a little worried about the difference between us, with me pretty much ready to move on from my ex.
I've reassured her that i'm not just in it for 'that', and that i am happy to hold back and wait for her (i am not ready for ultra physical yet either)...wait until she is ready.
She seems a lot happier now, and sent me text 'thanking me, hoping i'm ok and saying she was sorry that she couldn't see me tonight'.
We will see each other tomorrow (around friends that we've got to keep 'us' a secret from...for now) and will hopefully chat more.
Someone once told me 'Slow and steady wins the race'...i'm gonna try and win this race by taking it easy, taking it slow!!!
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A
male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (7 September 2006):
I think you are both doing the right thing and am glad you are both taking things slowly. I feel you are going to have a future together.
This relationship is building on a foundation of trust, respect and a genuine friendship, surely that can only be a good sign.
I would advise you both to continue as you are, then let time take its course. Then I feel you will be very happy together.
You say she HAS to go home, please just dont make this an issue, because animosity can build up quickly. She is rushing back because she does not want to complicate things and there are many people who could turn this into an issue.
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A
male
reader, GenuineGuy +, writes (7 September 2006):
Hey,
You're both single or soon to be. Assuming the break from her guy is really happening and beyond hope.
If you have true feelings for this girl then I'd count yourself as very lucky to have found something like this and go for it.
Probably would be good to take things very slowly especially while she is still getting her life sorted out.
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