A
female
age
30-35,
*lorathehobbit
writes:There's something strange going on in my brain O_o. I posted a question here about a month ago asking about sexuality and I said that even though I had always liked boys, I had lost interest in them and now liked girls, I wanted to know if my sexuality would change alot during adolescence. Well, last night I finally became comfortable with it- I decided that if my happines lay with girls then I would be with girls, but I didnt want to label myself yet. I even made a list of girls I like. I was happy that after a long time I could lust over people again and not feel too weird. But as soon as I became comfortable with liking girls I changed again. I'm not into girls anymore, or boys for that matter.I feel really confused and people may tell me to not restrict myself to one sex and to just have crushes, I seriously just dont have crushes now, I dont feel attracted to anyone. I REALLY don't want to be asexual, it just isnt like me at all and I'm one of those girls who only need one thing- Love. I dont think I'm asexual but then again, if I dont feel attracted to anyone... Why did I just change my mind as soon as I became ok with myself? Just like with boys- as soon as I wanted a boyfriend I completely went off them.By the way I'm 16. Please say this is normal and doesnt mean I'm asexual.
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male
reader, uh oh  +, writes (8 May 2010):
if all you wanted to know is if this is normal, then yes. it is pretty normal i guess. Its happening to me too, maybe for different reasons but all the same.
Also, if your not looking to fall in love anytime soon, then why worry about whether it will be possible for you or not right now especially if you're not attracted to either sex.
Dont worry, there's nothing wrong with you. you just probably havent met the right person yet, and everyone you know right now is boring you. its the same with me :)
hope i helped and keep me posted :)
A
female
reader, clorathehobbit +, writes (30 April 2010):
clorathehobbit is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to everyone who replied, but to all the boys(it just happened to be all boys who took something the wrong way), I'm not restricting myself to one sex, my problem is im not attracted to either.
And I'm not looking for love at the moment, what I meant there was that If I was asexual then the chances are slim that I would fall in love. I know some asexual people still have romantic feelings but I dont.
And no, I'm not doing exams, I'm doing transition year, which only has short, minor tests. Transition year is supposed to make us more independant and confident and it really did, but this is always at the back of my mind...
I dont feel any pressure to like someone, it's just when I felt comfortable with liking girls, I woke up the next morning and didnt like them. I had a crush on a girl, a really genuine one that started back when I thought I was staright, and ever since becoming ok with liking another girl I stopped liking her. Its like I got bored :(
Thanks though, most of you helped :)
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 April 2010):
 Or, there is a third option! Perhaps you dont have crushes on anyone atm, or find anyone sexually attractive, because you haven't met the right person yet! Your tastes could just be different from others, and mr. or ms. dreamy haven't made an appearance yet.
Don't force yourself to find someone attractive just because others do. Make up a fake crush if your friends keep asking you who you like (make it someone they don't know that goes to another school or lives far away or something).
And then I guess when you do fall in love and start having relationships you will know what you like better.
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A
male
reader, uh oh +, writes (29 April 2010):
Hey, im going through the same sort of thing too. It may just be a phase your going through. thats what i figured i am going through anyway.
anyway whats wrong with being asexual for a while?
i mean, your going through exams right now aren't you? so.. the last thing you need is a distraction, and stuff like this on your mind.
Im 16 too but im a guy, so maybe its different for me. However, if you really are just looking for love then you'll know when the time is right and thats one thing im sure of.
Dont treat this as a problem. theres loads of people who dont know where they stand both gay straight and bi. the truth is that i guess you dont really know until you actually fall in love with that one person your going to spend the rest of your life with.
As to what the cause is, it could be the fact that theres so much other stuff on your mind that you are finding it difficult to think through things like this.
or it could be that you are thinking through things too much. I know im a culprit of both. Just take it easy, you dont need anyone until you know your alright about yourself. Anyway keep me posted! hope i helped!
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A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (29 April 2010):
 You don't have to make a decision. It almost seems like you're trying to force yourself to choose a side and a label. You can't make yourself love somebody, crush on somebody, or even be attracted to somebody. It just happens. My advice is to do just that.... let it happen. When you're ready, you'll find somebody who you are attracted to and want to be with. You don't have to decide ahead of time if it has to be a boy or a girl... it'll just happen.
Forget all of this talk about being asexual. You just seem like you're either convincing or scaring yourself to a certain direction.
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