A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I have a fiance that I love dearly...We live together now but we will be moving into our very first apartment on Friday:) the problem is,I really want to carry his child..he has me on birth control but I'm not really happy with it..I'm just doing it to make him happy.I really hav my heart set on a child but he's not ready and it kinda hurts..what should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): Thanx :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): My mother dropped out of college her senior year to marry my father. (he's two years older) They're still together and happy, but the one thing she does wish is that she lived her life a little more before having children. Why? Well, she got pregnant with my sister, Allison. She gave birth via C section, and the baby had problems with her kidneys. There was nothing they could do. Allison died a month after, close to christmas. My parents were in an immense amount of pain, especially my mother. A year later she became pregnant again with my brother. She miscarried. Again, alot of pain. A year later, she finally gave birth to a healthy child, my sister, and a few years after me, then my brother. I'm not saying this will happen to you, BUT as my mom says, it would have been easier if she could've lived her life a little. Also as the other reader said, maybe he wants a better job, with more benefits and a better pay. Maybe he wants to see the world with you first. Maybe he's a little scared that he won't be a good father. But, he did say hes mot READY for a child, not that he doesn't WANT children. So eventually you will have kids. Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): If you are in the 18-21 age bracket as your posting says, you have several years yet in which to have children. Children need and deserve to be brought up by two parents in a loving relationship and you are still probably too young to be sure you're going to be together forever. You're engaged, which is great (although personally I still think getting married at younger than 25 these days is probably madness).But you're literally getting your first apartment together now. Get used to living in your own place and being together. You need to be 100% sure this is the guy for you before you start breeding. If you're still blissfully happy together this time next year, then talk some more about it. Discuss it as a mutual goal - you need to be on the same wavelength on the subject of kids. But do not rush into having kids. Seriously, you've got many years yet while you are still fertile!
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A
female
reader, VSAddict  +, writes (11 July 2011):
 You need to give him some time. Just because you're getting married doesn't mean you should start a family right away. If you're not willing to wait then maybe you two shouldn't be getting married. You have years to create a family so don't push him so much.If he didn't want kids you wouldn't be engaged to him. How long are you willing to wait? Did he give you a specific time as to when he would be ready? Answers to these questions might help us answer your question better.
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