A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I broke up in April after dating for just over a year. He broke up with me but wanted to maintain a friendship. We have done the post-breakup sex thing but have also managed to spend some time together just hanging out and being friends. We keep in touch a few times a week via e-mail and phone calls and see each other once a week or so.I think he broke up with me because he is working on his Master's degree (part-time), working full-time and trying to maintain a relationship with me. I think the pressure became too much for him and I was the easiest thing for him to give up. He eventually quit his job and is now a full-time student with one year left until he graduates.Here's the deal...I still love him and I find I can't move on to another relationship without finding out whether or not he thinks we can try things again. I have read a couple of books which have helped me understand the differences between men and women and I think I have such a better understanding of him and of myself. I think I would be a better girlfriend and want to prove it to him.Should I tell him I am still in love with him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your reply. I am planning on talking to my ex-boyfriend the next time we see each other (probably this weekend) to let him know how I feel. We haven't had sex in a month so the no sex thing shouldn't be a problem either. He has finished all his school work for the year and has a month off so maybe this will give him time to think about what I have to say and reassess the situation. I will definitely keep you posted on what happens after I talk to him. Thanks again...it's great to get a male's perspective.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (1 August 2007):
 I belong to a different culture, but I just cannot understand how someone would break up with you just because he's feeling the pressure of his master's. I understand he has limited time, but apparently he does find a way to e-mail you, call you, see you, and take you to bed. In my opinion, if he has the time to do all this, he didn't really have to break up with you. He could be doing just the exact same things as part of the relationship.
I know you'd be a good girlfriend, and I'm sure he knows it, too. If you weren't, he wouldn't maintain the contact. You don't say why he broke up, but I'm afraid he didn't give you a good reason, really.
You're not a thing to give up easily, madam. You were his girlfriend, and he should care about you. Not that I don't understand he is in his master's, but, you need to give your loved ones the importance they deserve. Has he given up on his parents yet?
He knows full well that you love him. I know that, and I haven't seen you. I'm sure your actions show it even more clearly to him.
I'm afraid he is using you. He has all the benefits of a relationship, but he can brush you off if he needs time.
You should tell him you love him and you want a relationship. That will force him to give you a straight answer, which is what you need. If he doesn't give you a full relationship, my advice would be to move on. If you're just friends, you can simply walk away, can't you?
If you want to be less drastic, but equally effective, don't give him sex. See how he acts after that.
You are a fine person, and you should be treated like one.
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