A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi hope you can help.this is a question about a guy.so i would really like a male point of view on this one please.and if your a lady who thinks she can help please do. ok what i going to do is write down all things important about me and this guy that i like and after you read it i will then ask you the question that i want answerd i just think you need to know a bit about my situation first.i've liked this guy since forever.it started when i was only 9.he was the only person who could give me butterflys and i liked just being around him.when we talked breifly back then it was like he had no idea how to talk to me but i liked the way that he did. but i thought that it was just a crush but i kept having feelings for him.we left for different schools (secondary school)i couldn't stop thinking about him. our dads know each other from school long ago.and he came over my house sometimes both the person i like and his dad.but i didn't think anythink of that really. when he moved from the same street as me i thought it was the end of the world and i thought that he moved far away.i wanted to let him know how i felt so i sent him a valantine card only to realise in actual fact he was only a few streets away.i only put my first name on the card so i don't know for sure if he knew that it was me who sent it. a while after he came back to my house with his dad.i didn't read anything into that either.then no visits by the guy i like just his dad came over sometimes.after that mabye a few months later my dad went over his house with me and the guy i like must have seen me through the window because when my dad went back over there without me a few days later the guy that i liked was talking to him and he said that he noticed that i was with him the other day.and apparantly asked what i was up to these days.and he made him a cup of cofee.but i didn't want to read too much into that. I kind of wanted to see him so i tagged along with my dad on a few of his visits.i saw him face to face once when i went there.with my dad and sis. i was hesitent to go into his house it's like i could sence that he was there.i remember walking through the front door nervously and going down the hallway a little saw his mom turn to face me i just smiled and she smiled back at me then his dad turned and said to us all "that room the one with (guy i likes name)in it" it was like my heart stopped beating.but my leggs walked me forward anyway and we just staired at each other for a while untill he looked away.i think he might of smiled but i can't be sure he was facing the other way.my sis said that he kept looking at me then looking away a lot but i just didn't believe that.i could feel weird tension though. a little after that my dad bumped into his and the guy i like was with him.his dad was asking how i was and if i had a boyfriend and then he said "you know our (person i likes name)likes your (my name)and then he went on to say that the person that i like hasn't had any serious relationships and things like that.The person that i like walked away quickly.my dad rushed back home and my sis and mom found out before me it was my sis that told me. i always wanted to hear this more than anything but wished that it would have came from the person i like himself to me.i was hoping that it was true but not completely sure i had doubts. not long after i broke out in a bad blemishes as a reaction to something i was using and i knew that it would take a few months to clear up.i couldn't let him see me like that so i wanted to waight for them to go better before i tried to do anything about it.about 3 or 4 months passed and they hadden't completely gone but i kind of looked ok with makeup on and i couldn't hold it off any longer i had to do something. found out that he was on facebook so i joined and i put "hi" on his wall.wanted him to reply to that but he didn't.my mom made me say something else to him so i inboxed him "how are you" kind of thing probably a stupid thing to write.i just wanted to have a normal conversation with him before i told him how i felt but it was like hitting a brick wall. i gave up trying after that and was just waighting for him to gradually talk to me on his own but that was just wasted time.about a week or 2 passed and my friend told me to just message him once more this time telling him how i felt and that if he replyed then he likes me.so i wrote how i felt breifly and at the end said is it true what your dad said if not then thats fine or something like that i think that mabye i should of worded it differently but can't do anything about that now.anyway he didn't reply and i took it as a no.and i was crying for about 2 weeks straight then in breif moments after that. i felt really broken and i refused to click on his page because just looking at his picture would make me cry.months passed and a tragedy happened with someone close in his family.i weirdly wanted to be there for him and couldn't handle the thought of him being unhappy.but i didn't write or make any contact with him i just stayed away. his dad came over again and didn't talk to me i don't think he knew what to say or how i would react to seeing him now.he kind of backed away from me and that reminded me of the one i liked his son so much.kind of hurt. about 3 or 4 months after the funeral of his someone close.i found out that he was seeing a girl and i broke down crying again.was really unhappy but thats a normal reaction for someone that still wasn't over him. a few monthes after that i found out that they broke up and i was weirdly a little relieved. few months after that me and his dad started talking again and we exchange smiles.and it feels kind of how it used to be between me and him. i think the reason why we didn't talk was he probably thought that i blamed him for some reason and didn't want to talk to him but that wasn't the case at all. last time i saw his dad he stopped his work van and waved and smiled to me his other son was with him.i just waved and smiled back we all looked at each other and i carried on home.i keep thinking does he really want to say something to me or something sometimes but just chit chat is all. I still like his son but have no idea if he ever felt the same way.tried to not think about him but it's been almoast 3 years and can't stop thinking about him get reminded of him, dream about him ,sometimes still cry about him and i wounder if he ever thinks about me.during this time i have never been out with anyone because it wasn't him. so these are my questions.What should i do about this guy?should i attempt to talk to him again to resolve this?or give up on him? i really don't want to be a pest to anyone it's just that this has been hanging over me for so long and i don't know what to do anymore.i thought that i wouldn't still be in this mess but i still am.What is the best way to deal with this problem? sorry for boring you with this story but i hope you can help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2011): well i would say there is no better contact than face to face because you are not talking to a phone or computer and if you tell him about your feelings face to face then he might see what a good person you are and he then has to reply on the outher hand you could just not talk to him and try to get over him as hard as it seems theres no point waiting around for some one who does not like you and you may push him furver away if he feels like he is countinully "nagged" as he could put it not that you are may i add but maby you should ask mih face to face then go from there if it's a yes then great, if its a no, then at least you'll know
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