A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I find it incredible how one person can have such a massive impact on your life.I really want to be with someone so much, I have done nothing but think aboout him since our date. The thing is, i'm just not sure how this older man feels about me! We'd had our first date last month which went really well (Despite how nervous I was) - we held hands all night, kissed etc. Everytime I think about this wonderful experience, my heart skips a beat! He is so lovely :)I think I may have become obsessed with him, but i'm not showing this because I don't want to scare him off. Infact i've avoided texting him up until today, but he hasn't replied yet! and it's making me worried. He does seem to really like me, but I guess i'm just paranoid because I don't hear from him that often. I've come across many guys who are interested in me, that are overly obsessive and text me constantly - this is a massive turn off for me as they come across as being desperate. But with this other guy, he is being the complete opposite and I don't know how to interpret it? he just seems so laid back, and we even discussed meeting up again at the end of our first date but it hasn't been brought up again since! It really is true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I really don't know how to move things forward with him or how he even feels about me? and i'm really paranoid about him finding someone better than me!Help xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2010): If you haven't had a second date in a month, then I'm sorry, he's really not that into you. If a guy really wants to see you again, he will become the hunter and he will make it happen. Are you initiating the texts? Does he call you or are you calling him? If you're doing all the work then it's not going to happen. I suggest you move on with your life and see other people. If he calls and wants to go out again, fine but don't wait by the phone because you're just driving yourself mad for nothing.
A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (8 February 2010):
 How long ago did you last speak? How long ago was the date? It's good that he's laid back if that's what you like in a man. It could just be that he's a busy person and doesn't have a lot of time to call people. I guess the best thing to do would be to give it time. If he said he'd like another date that's a good sign. Maybe casually suggest something fun you could do together for another potential date?
Good luck
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 February 2010):
 You may have a thing for older guys because they are experienced, confident and calm. You won't scare him off. He knows how young people are. We've all been there. He may find you cute. I don't know how he feels about you. You are still in the early stages. You need to gather more information from each other. One thing I'm sure is that all men like women who are gentle, sweet and nurturing. But older people are really looking for girls they can talk to and relate to. I was 20 when I met a guy who's 30. We had a brief relationship. He didn't seem to mind that I couldn't talk about stuff like career, economics and politics. Older guys like younger girls because they are more maiden like, open, receptive and don't have much baggage. You don't have to worry about moving things forward with him. What if he just wants sex, or is married, or still attached to an ex? He should be the one moving things forward.
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A
female
reader, trueatheart +, writes (8 February 2010):
 You need to ask him if he wants the same kind of relationship as you do. Don't keep your feelings bottled up, you need to communicate properly with this guy. Even if it turns out he doesn't feel the same as you, at least you will know and then you'll be able to move on. Maybe he's not contacting you because he doesn't know how to proceed either. One of you has to make the move and ask questions otherwise you'll be in this position indefinitely. I hope it all goes well for you.
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