A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have recently started seeing someone who I have had an on-off relationship with for a few years. When staying at his flat, he took a shower and left his facebook account on his pc. I read one of his messages and discovered that 2 weeks previous to my visit he had gone to stay with his best friend, he had kissed his best friend's girlfriend and stayed at her house (he denies sleeping with her). The girl had apologised to him for whatever happened and asked that they keep it quiet, he agreed and they became 'facebook buddies' sending frequent wall posts to each other. I was devastated, I think I love him, so am doing my best to forgive him, but when I confronted him he chastised me and made me feel bad for 2 days for having read his messages, this seems unfair to me. I have no one to talk to so would appreciate some opinions about it!
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female
reader, minaah +, writes (5 June 2007):
No, don't let that guy get away with that because it will only get worse. Stand your ground, be strong and don't let him take advantage. xxx
A
female
reader, Pro. Psychology  +, writes (5 June 2007):
Okay, first off you must understand the male ego. It is as it has been stated; fragile! When a man starts dating or begins a new relationship he struggles to keep his freedom and independence. I warn you, do not step on that. Men look for that, it's kind of their testing strip. If something comes up in the relationship that could be harmful, wether they planned it or not, they take the reaction you give them and make their decisions about you. I know you two have been together for a while but you have not been serious, so maybe he is still operating under those circumstances. You have to give him a grace period. That is with any man in a new relationship. I know you don't want to but you must, let it go. If, and that's a big if, he does it again, then you should evaluate the relationship. Right now let him know that it hurt your feelings and you are worried that it might hurt your relationship. But make sure it does not turn into a fight. Letting it go means to share your feelings and let him win this time. When you have better established your relationship, then he will be more understanding of your issues with his actions. Good luck.
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