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anonymous
writes: I've been with my partner now for almost 14 months. I'm 39 and he is 45,divorced, and we get on really well. We met through a dating magazine. It'sjust that he has a lot of female friends some of whom are women who he wenton dates with before he met me. He told me that he didn't sleep with any ofthem. For some reason I knew he was lying, put it down to women's intuition.I found his diary and he said that he had slept with some of them and thatafter our first date he slept with another woman the following evening andshe stayed the night. After that there isn't any other entries where he sayshe had slept with anyone else. It also says he loves me.Do I confront him and tell him what I have done and that I know he has beenlying and tell him how I feel. I do I just accept that he was sowing hiswild oats while he was single again for a while.There also the issue of STD's which I know how to deal with.A :-(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (19 January 2005):
 Dear AYour partner obviously didn't want to tell you about who he had slept with because he thought it would portray him in a poor light.Unfortunately, curiosity always killed the cat as you have found! It was wrong for him to lie but it was also wrong for you to read his diary.It is reassuring for you to know that he loves you which he has also written.The only trouble with you confronting him about it, is that it may cause an argument and you need to weigh up whether you feel you can trust him now. What he did before could be considered as irrelevant unless it interferes with your life with him now.If you feel you can trust him implicitly then perhaps it is best to say nothing about the diary as you won't really achieve very much. Trust takes time to build and focus instead on creating a satisfying and close relationship for the future.Good luck.
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