A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Every so often, without warning I'll break my carefully moderated diet in a big way and binge on everything in sight. While I'm stuffing my face I'm euphoric, it isn't until afterwards that I realise I haven't actually enjoyed a single mouthful - not to mention the bitter regret and burning shame at my own weakness that I'll inevitably feel too. Then I'll end up purging for weeks (not by making myself sick or anything, but being stricter than ever with my eating habits). I hate losing my grip but I can't seem to help it; people think I'm such a disciplined person but it isn't true. What I do or don't eat is the one thing in my life which I have any real control over, and even in that I end up failing. I feel so bad. Why can't I restrain myself? Do I have an eating disorder or something? :( Many thanks in advance for any advice given... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): Thank you so much for the advice, I'll take all your perspectives on board. Feeling far less hopeless about myself now! :)
A
female
reader, Nime  +, writes (20 March 2011):
 Did you know you have a finite amount of willpower each day? I mean if you wake up and go to work and deny yourself one of the donuts that somebody brought in, that costs maybe a unit of willpower. Then you push back your lunch an extra half hour so you can get more work done, and that costs more willpower. Then you're walking home and pass by a great looking pair of shoes in the window, but you tell yourself you can't afford them; that costs more units of willpower. If you are very disciplined at exercising self-control, you may just be out of willpower by the end of the day. This is why many people on crash diets will binge eat after they get home from work. It's not necessarily hunger that causes them to binge, it's that razor sharp desperate feeling of being out of willpower. The next time you find yourself preparing to binge eat, think about what you've denied yourself today. Ask yourself, what would I REALLY like to eat right now, and eat a serving of the first thing that comes to your mind. Don't settle for binging on the stale crackers in the cupboard, get something that really hits the spot. If that doesn't satisfy you I recommend you go shopping, either for groceries or clothes or whatever. You don't have to spend a ton, but the act of shopping has repeatedly been shown as a good substitute for binge eating, probably because it is another outlet to let loose on your wants and whims when you're out of willpower. In general, I recommend you start being more careful with your self-control in general. Eating healthy and clean can be very demanding on willpower; you may feel deep down like you're missing out on the good tasting stuff. You constantly have to turn people down when they're offering you food you don't allow yourself to eat, and so forth. You need to relax a little with the self-control so that you don't get to these days where you feel like a raw nerve of depleted willpower and you have to binge to restore it. If there's a really good looking slice of cake and part of you is begging you to have it, just do it. It will save you calories in the long run and you'll be happier for it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): Yeah you have an eating disorder, you need to go see your doctor and ask for help.
Being very strict with your diet, binging, purging, dieting as a way to exert control over your life. These are all pretty bad signs. Go to your doctor and see what they say because all this control you're trying to exert is pretty much harming you.
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