A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I had an encounter with my ex, on a city bus. Now, she's the dumper. I'm scared of her, as she lied to me, and such. Anyways, I got off the bus, and, I find out she got off at the same stop.Now, I attend the same school as her (But, thankfully, not in the same program as her.). And, I panicked, as I was being followed, by her, on my way. Thank goodness I walk much faster than her. But, I get a feeling that she was trying to keep up, with me, as on occasion, she'd be visible in the distance. I need to know why there would be a reason, for my ex to try to keep up, with me? I told her I wasn't in her life, no more. But, yet, she violates my wishes by trying to talk to me.Anyways, yeah. Um, I know she was on her way to the college, but, she could have creeped me much less out by not attempting to catch up with me, as I sense that's what she tried to do.Thanks, in advance.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2012): Thing is, they still occasionally pass by, and, they still honk. Should I charge them for disturbing the peace, or harassment, in that sense? If so, how will I gather the evidence? Thanks, eh. This means a lot, to me.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (24 February 2012):
 Oh do nothing and ignore them and they will go away.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2012): I'm the Original Poster, and I have a question. I think my ex, or someone in her family, is actually honking as they pass by my house. I think it might be her Mom, as my ex told me when I was together with her, that her Mom loves to speed. The passing by vehicle is speeding, and, like I said, the driver honks. I could swear it's the same person, every time. What should I do? Should I set up something to record passing by traffic, so to catch the subject, or, do I do nothing? Thanks.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): To the second answerer, yes, I am scared of my ex, as she lied to me, when she was dumping me. I found out all these reasons, way past the time she had done the nasty deed. I eventually confronted her about why she didn't say any of the things that bothered. She said she had given up on me, and I had lost it. I dumped her as a friend.
Since I felt like she's been not very honest, which was when I was told of the real reasons, I felt paranoid against her. I eventually felt there was no way I could trust her, as she lied about dumping me. (Which was a bogus reason, that I do not wish to specify.).
I appreciate everyone's concern. Thanks, everybody!
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (22 February 2012):
 HI
youwish is spot on here, dont let her make you feel you have to run, confront her and tell her it's been over for a while and you dont want her in your life EVER, IT WILL BE THEN you can truely be happy with your life and move on from this.
Mandy x
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 February 2012):
 Don't worry about her motives & thoughts, just keep staying away from her.
I don't know why you are scared of her, you didn't explain that part, but I would stay away from her, like you have been doing.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 February 2012):
 You know, in a way, you're on the right track. Subconsciously, you've identified that your ex is not a good thing for you, and up until now, you've avoided her in order to keep yourself from her.
Keeping yourself from her is good! However, there's a better, more empowering way to do it. There's no need to be afraid of her, or yourself. Instead of running from her, if she's still trying to make contact with you and succeeds, tell her firmly that you do not want her in any shape or form in your life. Tell her it's over, and you want no contact whatsoever.
Instead of running to avoid the confrontation, do the confronting. Don't be afraid. Remember, if you don't let her back in, she can't get back in. If you're afraid that you'd be too weak not to fall for her again, build an emotional wall around your heart when it comes to her.
Finally, why not focus on your future. Maybe you feel vulnerable because someone else isn't in your life? Trust me, you have to deal with this ex before you'll confidently be able to move forward romantically.
So, your instincts are GOOD. But there's a better way to deal with it.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 February 2012):
You are scared of her because she lied to you? Did she abuse you in some way? Has she attacked you in the past?
If you go to the same school and she's never physically abused you then I think being polite is the best way to go...
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