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age
41-50,
*
writes: Quit my job today. I didn't turn up for work in the morning but I did e-mail my supervisor to say I was not coming back. Obviously it was a shock for him as he thought things were going ok. However, I was unhappy and the job was stressing me out. They accepted my resignation. Only thing is, I do feel like rubbish for doing this and have put myself in a difficult position now (financially etc). I acted completely out of character - as I have not done this before anywhere else. I am in a LDR and I have plans to move to be nearer him. I know the relationship has been a distraction on my focus to stick with it at work, but I can't place my decision solely on that as an influence. I am worried about my relationship as I have made it harder for us. We have been together less than a year and I texted him this afternoon to tell him everything. Understandably he was not happy and he wants to talk later as he says he wants to understand why I did what I did. What do I say? I am lost for words and really have no good explanation. From a male perspective; if this had happened to you with your girlfriend how would you react? I am worried about our future now and worried about speaking with him. Do you think he may feel responsible with this? I know he is certainly worried. I have been active today and applied to 5 jobs already so I am not sitting moping. Your opinions and advise etc on this matter would be most appreciated.
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (16 November 2010):
 It is a good test of the relationship. We all do things on impulse from time to time. Don't feel so bad about this. If it helps, I have walked out of two jobs before without notice because I hated the bosses! Sometimes you just snap and decide enough is enough - it takes courage and self belief to leave. A long term relationship has to be based on partners not acting as expected occasionally. If the other person is not flexible enough to accommodate this, it means the relationship is doomed. My husband jumped on a plane to his home country to get his visa updated after we got married and said 'dont worry, will be home in 2 weeks'. The Home Office stopped him returning for two years until I took them to court...a stress on our marriage but life happens! How your boyfriend reacts to your news is telling about the state of your relationship. As for your unemployed status...In view of the terrible economic times, give some thought to self employment. If you have skills that can be 'sold' in some way then you can start your own business, claim tax credits (until you get on your feet financially) and it doesn't mean you cannot still look around for a PAYE job. You could be self employed anywhere in the country, including in the location where your boyfriend lives. Just a thought!
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 November 2010):
 Ok this sounds like the desicion wasnt thought through and it was just snap im not going back, try not to feel bad though, it was stressing you out and you werent happy. Am glad you are not moping about, but if you are in a LDR then are you applying for jobs now that are near your boyfriend? If you are not then maybe you should be thinking ahead and about your future, as there is no point in applying for jobs were you are now if you are only going to leave them and have to start again somewere else.
Just tell your boyfriend you were stressed with your job and you just made a snap desicion, tell him you are fed up and you want to be nearer to him.
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