A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. So, I've been with my boyfriend for about 4 months now. We're in a long distance relationship, and that needs work, but we agreed we would try to make it work.I live about 8 hours away by car, and by using the plane I can be back where he is in 30 minutes. Plane tickets cost, but because I wanted to keep the relationship alive, I traveled about four times to see him so far. I'm where I am because I'm studying here, I can't do otherwise, since the university I passed in is out of town. I not only had to leave him behind, but also my parents, and I couldn't abandon my studies and leave all the opportunities that university offers me. I tried really hard to get in anyway.I'm back at my parents house for the holidays now, and things are pretty much hectic between me and him. He has major issues with his parents, who won't allow him to be out past 10pm, and usually we only get to see each other for one hour or if we're lucky two. I'm always available, I even make sure I finish my assignments early in the morning so that I'm free to see him later on, but he always has one problem or another with his parents. They treat him like a little child, they rarely let him go out and they make him babysit his siblings all the time. I never get to spend any time with him for that reason.Right now, I haven't seen him for about four days and I got here so I could spend the holiday break with him. It seems like I most likely came for nothing, since I didn't even see him on Christmas, or on New year's, or anything. Also, I've been asking him to come visit me for a couple of days back where my university is. I don't think I'm asking for too much, since I'm the one who's been traveling all along and saving money to pay for the tickets so I can go see him. He asked his parents and they refused. He was even willing to pay for the ticket, but no. He even told me at some point that he had persuaded them, and I ended up booking my own ticket on the day he told me he would book his. Today he called me to tell me that he won't be booking his ticket until next Tuesday, which will be two days before the day we're supposed to leave. I told him there's no way he's going to find any available tickets, but apparently he couldn't do otherwise because his parents wanted to see what the weather is going to be like then to decide whether to let him go or not.I's so frustrating. I've been calm, but I just had it with this one. I mean, couldn't he at least tell me that he wasn't planning on coming in the first place? I made all sorts of plans and was excited, and now he just twists his words. And I'm honestly sick of his parents. He's 19, yet his curfew is 10 pm. I feel betrayed, angry, mad, and just, ugh. I put so much effort in that relationship and it just seems like I'm the one trying around here. I just don't know what to do, what to tell him, whether to break it off. He claims he loves me very much and "can't live without me". What should I do, please help?
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male
reader, Nevz  +, writes (5 January 2010):
Can't you talk to him about his parents. His parents need to let this guy go and let him make his own decisions. They are overprotective. This guy is 19 and can take care of his own. If he doesn't want to talk to his parents because he is scared then you must tell him that it's the only way that it will work. This is a oneway relationship. If he isn't able to put a little effort in it then leave him.
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