A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:[Moderator's Note: 2 questions from the same poster have been merged into one]Question 1.ok here goes...iv always been quite insecure..mainly because my dad had quite a few affairs..Iv had 2 serious boyfriends-both who finished the relationship after a year.at the time i thought it was their problem..but have recently come to realise it may be me. Both guys said i was very 'up and down'.Im naturally quite an affectionate and loving person and like a lot of attention, but if i feel like something is wrong with the other person i turn cold and try and push them away, then when they are mad at me, i go back to being fine.I was recently seeing a guy that i really liked, but he tole me last night again im too up and down!i feel really silly.do you think i will ever change?xQuestion 2.ok in summary:met a guy, liked him, he had a bad reputation, people messaged me saying be careful, i confronted him, he got upset because he said he didnt think i was the kind of person that believed rumours, we made up, i got angry with him again and said we should leave it, we made up again, then the last few days hes been a bit off, last night we had a big conversation and he said he really really liked me but he thinks i am too unpredictable!do you think its too late to get him to like me again?
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (5 January 2010):
I think you need to spend some time finding yourself, rather than going out with guys at the moment. You seem to have made a poor choice in the guy who has a bad reputation, and I think that's because your low esteem and insecurity is causing you to take guys that aren't good enough because you want to feel loved by someone. That's because of the way your father was. He was your male role model, if you like, so you're used to guys who maybe don't treat women so well. You would do far better to address your own insecurity and spend time just finding out who you are, then moving on to find a decent guy, instead of ones with bad reputations. All the best.
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