A
male
age
,
*RIM
writes:my fiancee and i were going to get married.we had a blissful relationship the only problem is i put her under pressure to join my church and gave her an ultimatumshe wanted a break for a while to think and i involved her familynow she has called the police but i never harassed heri desparately want a second chanceis there a chance and how do i go about it?
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (14 April 2008):
 Hi,
You are paying the price for trying to force someone to accept your own narrow view of the world. So you are going to find it hard to get any sympathy.
I dare say she has called the police as you have overstepped your boundaries and are now hassling her.
She wants nothing to do with your church or you, get over it and maybe learn a lesson from this.
You have no right to demand another person accepts your beliefs, most would say you got what you deserved.
A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (12 April 2008):
 For God sake man get a grip, she is clearly not interested and she used the words needing space, as an excuse to get away from you. You are a controlling and manipulative person, so with her getting the police involved should make you WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE, she is not coming back. GET OVER IT!!!!
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A
female
reader, tick-tick-boom +, writes (12 April 2008):
 To be honest mate, i don't blame her.You cannot pressure anybody into joining religions. Come on man! we are allowed to pick our own religion.You have totaly screwed up. You should'nt have brought her family into it. It's not right. What church were you trying to make her join??Man, if you ever want her back youll have to respect her, NOT HARRAS HER!good luck
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (12 April 2008):
 First lets look at this realistically. Are relationships to include pressures, or are they to enhance the quality of the person they all ready are? A relationship with God, or lack of is personal, and should be left as a personal choice, without any pressure. If you provide religious pressure you can actually lead them away from the church and not too.
When we're ignorant in dealing with people, the first thing is to apologize for that. You need to realize too her giving you a chance needs to be her choice as well. Involving her family probably hurt that more than it helped. Harrassment can be direct or indirect. If she felt intimidated by her family's involvement, that can be considered harrassment.
You don't want to rush her taking a break. If you do, she'll see it as a lack of respect. She needs a break and being interrupted where she can't take one, she might see this respect as going into different areas of the relationship as well. When she's ready to talk, you'll know.
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