A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm very confused and maybe someone can help me.Okay, so let me kind of summarize my relationship with my ex. We'll call him Nick. So, Nick and I were together for about 5 months. I love this guy, and I've never been more confused in my life. So, at the beginning of June, when we broke up, we were still sort of talking to each other, and we decided to see each other right before I left to move across the country. One thing led to another and I lost my virginity to him the night before I left. I brought up maybe getting back together to do the long distance thing, and he said he didn't want to get back together because he wanted to focus on football and college(We had just graduated, also). At the time, that didn't really bother me, so I let it go. Now, from about June to late August we had still been talking almost every day, and almost every day he would tell me he loves me and misses me and can't wait for me to come back. In about mid-August, we had a little argument about a habit of mine that I have that he doesn't approve of. Jokingly (since he made it pretty clear he didn't want to be together) I said something like "I don't have to impress you anymore anyways." Which made him so angry. He told me "You know we're more than friends".. But I honestly didn't! I want to be with him more than anything, but if he won't call me his girlfriend then what am I supposed to think? Anyways, we made up and went on talking like it never happened. The last time I talked to him was September 3rd. This is because I waited a month for him to be the first to contact me, since I had initiated the converation the last few times we talked. It's just nice to be thought of I guess.About a week ago, I checked Twitter and he posted something like "i told myself I wouldn't get tied down, but she changed the game and I'm so glad to call her mine". I might have over reacted by deleting him and blocking him on all social networking. About 30 mins after I did that, he sent a group text to me and about 3 others saying "Guess what? :))))" and since I got a new phone and didn't recognize his number, I said "Who's this?" and he never answered anyone in the group message back. Yesterday I sent a text saying "hey.." and he ignored me. then a few hours later I said "So you're ignoring me now?" And he just hasn't replied. I feel like I accidentally pushed him away and I want to talk to him so badly, I miss him.I know this might seem stupid, but I really don't know what to do. I'm moving back to that town in a few months and I'd really like to reach out to him, but I just don't know how. I feel like this is all my fault because I couldn't swallow my pride enough to text him..
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broke up, get back together, long distance, lost my virginity, my ex, swallow, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2012): "I know this might seem stupid, but I really don't know what to do."
Nothing you can do. You put out for him when you knew you were broken up and he knew you were moving across the country, during the summer he maintained long-distance contact (perhaps in anticipation of further casual hook-ups,
thus his telling you he loved you and missed you), you last talked to him before college classes started, I'm assuming that once school began he became immersed in his new life (college academics and college athletics and college social life) so he no longer has any compelling reason to remain in touch with you.
"I'm moving back to that town in a few months and I'd really like to reach out to him, but I just don't know how."
No point. You sent a text suggesting that/asking if he was ignoring you and he gave you a definitive answer by not answering. When you move back to town, he will get word from your mutual friends and if he wants to reach out to you, he will. Don't call him, he'll call you (if he wants, which is unlikely).
"I feel like this is all my fault because I couldn't swallow my pride enough to text him."
It's not your fault, it's not his fault; you threw yourself at him, he took the freebies, after you moved he kept in touch during the summer but now he's in a new environment having new experiences and meeting new people, and he simply no longer has any reason to pursue any kind or relationship or maintain any kind of friendship with you.
Be thankful you didn't get yourself knocked up with a kid whom you would be completely incapable of raising and supporting, and who would have forced ex to abandon his plans, goals and dreams for the future.
Very few high school romances (and few high school friendships) survive the transition to college and/or adult life. He's moved on to a new phase of his life in which you have no place, you need to do likewise for your own benefit.
A
female
reader, fishy fish +, writes (9 October 2012):
Ok... So you guys haven't been in touch for over a month now, and he posted that status on twitter.. Hmmm there might be two scenarios here:A- he met someone else and is expressing his love and enthusiasm.B- he's doing that on purpose to upset you and get a reaction. You should know more about his personality and how he functions when you two aren't in touch. Bu the fact that he ignored your texts is not very comforting. If I were you I'd ask common friend what's happening in his life and get your answer. Don't get in touch with him anymore, and try not to up your expectations high as there's a chance he might have met someone else. Good luck, keep us posted.
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